Under the baby bonnet – or how dads can pass the toddler MOT

THEY taught a generation who didn't know a spanner from a wrench how to lavish tender loving care on their internal combustion engines.

Haynes' manuals were the must-have gift for amateur mechanics who loved tinkering under the bonnet of their most prized possession.

Now, the manuals have turned their attention to a notoriously temperamental model which has a well-earned reputation for erratic behaviour.

Toddler Owners' Workshop Manual… The Practical Step-by-Step Guide to Toddlers combines practical advice on dealing with the heartache of temper tantrums with tongue-in-cheek suggestions on how to handle the apple of your eye.

It includes tips on how to avoid filling your supermarket trolley with sweets and how to cope with the traumas of with family travel. It also looks at how to prevent high velocity accidents between small ones, as well as coping with medical emergencies.

The author, Dr Ian Banks, said publishing lists were flooded with self-help manuals for mothers, but the needs of fathers had been neglected.

"If a child gets a rash then the mum will pop round next door to a more experienced neighbour who will say: 'Oh yes, my son had that.' Dad will either ignore it or go 'bloody hell, it's meningitis' and rush the child off to casualty. I hope the book will help them to react in a more calm and measured way to situations they may not have encountered.

"With cars, men always knew there was a Haynes manual for their model. This is aimed at giving them the information they need to deal with this new chapter in their life, only this time it's a toddler and not a Ford Cortina.

"Men get very frustrated at this period of their child's life because they don't really know what to do."

Banks, who has two sons and two daughters, believes the toddler stage is important for both children and fathers, as it is the time in development when both realise they are interested in each other.

"Babies are not that much interested in their fathers, they much prefer their mums. But when they turn into toddlers they realise there is another human being in the house who is important to them. Dads are the one who whirl them around and throw them in the air.

"It's a very exciting time for toddlers and for fathers who suddenly find themselves flavour of the month."

One father who believes the book could be a godsend is Iain Boyle, an Edinburgh property manager, who has two sons, Danny, three, and one-year-old Charlie.

"I have had a look at the book and it's definitely something I could have done with when Danny reached toddler stage," he said. "I had no experience of kids at all and it came as something of a culture shock. It would have been good to have had a book to consult."

Psychologists said men would welcome some help with dealing with toddlers.

Dr Douglas Young, a development consultant and director of HRPD Associates, said: "There is certainly a need for young fathers to be educated in these matters. The problem is: are heterosexual men ready for it or do they want to play the 'macho man' game? Often the answer these days is yes."

How the book was packaged and marketed was critical to its success, Young added. "Women are always trying to get men to attend antenatal classes and a book like that could be a good thing to give out because the father's work doesn't really start, except for changing nappies, until the child is a toddler.

"Selling it as a 'man's book', as a toolkit, would appeal to men, because men tend to like fixing things and solving things."

Dr Cynthia McVey, the head of psychology at Glasgow Caledonian University, said more men than ever before were becoming the principal care-giver for their children.

"If we consider that women might be a different animal then perhaps men need a different approach to how to take care of their toddlers," she said.

"If we went back 50 years, a book like this would never have been considered. The woman's role was in the home as the principal care-giver and the man's job was to earn the money, come home and then be looked after – like the toddler."

The key was how the information was delivered to fathers. "A man might browse through a book written in this jokey manner and find that the style of it suits him better. It could be a novel way of getting the message across."

But McVey offered a word of caution. "The father might find this car-like approach quite appealing, but of course the important thing to remember is that children are not machines and toddlers will rarely behave the way you expect them to." Haynes has provided information for motorists with their car manuals for almost 50 years, so the company said it seemed natural to offer the same style of information for the family as well.

Sales and marketing director Jeremy Yates-Round said: "Men always need help with their cars and we know they need help with their toddlers. Now we can help with both."

Handy hints for dealing with tiny terrors

TANTRUMS

Tantrums can happen anywhere, any time, and as with the adult version tiredness can be a factor. Setting some ground rules will help but only so long as you enforce them.

There are certain things which most of us would consider unacceptable: biting people, especially their dad, is not on. Getting the message across is vital and a fudged attempt makes it difficult to come back and try again. If it is bad, say so in tones that leave no doubt in their mind that this was not on the list of OK things to get away with.

HOLIDAY CAR TRAVEL

Women should drive on holiday and men should read maps. Women can multi-task. Driving with the CD player full-blast, checking her reflection in the courtesy mirror while simultaneously whacking blindly over her shoulder... is mere bagatelle for women. Prostate owners are different. They need to focus on one thing.

SUPERMARKET HELL

By all means let them help push the trolley and yes, even the mini-trolleys supplied in many supermarkets, but when you finally get to the checkout, just try to remove the bags of sweets or cute 'n' cuddly tiny teddy. Best of luck dad (see Toddler Tantrums).

AVOIDING ACCIDENTS

With one to four-year-olds, once the mainframe computer kicks in with better acceleration, toddlers can move very quickly. Unfortunately, co-ordination comes later, so accidents happen in seconds. Keeping an eye on the wandering toddler and thinking ahead can be difficult but life-saving. Thankfully, not that many kids turn up in casualty with pots stuck on their heads.

Publishing phenomenon

The legendary Haynes manuals were named after car enthusiast John Haynes, who, while he was still at school in 1956, wrote and published a book about building an Austin 7 Special.

He formed Haynes Publishing in 1960 and the first manual, Haynes Owners Workshop Manual, for the Austin Healey Sprite, was published in 1965. The empire, based in Somerset, grew rapidly and now covers the construction, maintenance and repair of 300 models of car and 130 models of motorcycle.

Branching out, the range also includes manuals for the construction, maintenance, troubleshooting, and repair of domestic appliances and personal computers, digital cameras and model railways. The manuals are published in 15 languages.