OKAY, so let's get the cheap blonde gag out the way in the first paragraph.
Here goes, the best I know. . . "A blonde went to buy a pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or 12. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat 12."
I know what you're thinking – you're no Joh
nny Vegas, son, just get on with it.
Admittedly, that's very true. But to explain, we were in Blonde on St Leonard's Street, exchanging dizzy blonde jokes to kill a little time before the starters arrived.
Again, I know what you're thinking. But sometimes you just can't be bothered debating existentialism or plotting a revolution. And hey, it's not like we were making a show of ourselves.
At just gone midday on a Tuesday afternoon, we would have had the whole place to ourselves had it not been for a party of three occupying a table on the other side of the restaurant.
While it's hard not to be suspicious of places that are horribly empty, there were no worries on that front.
Having been here a good few times when the place has been full – and full of life – it was clearly just a slow start to the day.
Indeed, walk into Blonde when it's busy, and it has the kind of buzz you only get when customers are truly happy. Give it a month and, given its close proximity to the Pleasance and other Fringe venues, you'll be lucky to get a table here at all without booking well in advance.
Named, not after those fair-haired folks, but its blond-wood furniture, the restaurant has a bright, airy feel to it – above all, it's simple and unpretentious. One criticism, albeit a small one – the chairs, which are a bit IKEA, are a bit hard-seated.
Still, it's not the decor that you will return to Blonde for – it's the excellent food.
The restaurant prides itself on quality fresh produce, cooked in innovative ways. And for the pleasure, you needn't break the bank.
On our recent visit, my partner and I opted for the two-course set lunch menu, which was a more-than-reasonable £10.90-a-head. The three-course option, had we the appetite for it (we didn't), would only have set us back another couple of quid each.
After a little deliberation, I decided to go for a warm salad starter and a fishy main course.
My dining companion, meanwhile, opted for Spanicota (a tasty filo parcel with feta, olive and spinach) with potato salad to start and spicy lamb sausages and mash as her main.
To wash it down, we each had a glass of Merlot from what was a decent, if short, wine list. Had we visited in the evening, we'd no doubt have gone for the whole bottle, but it was deemed a little early in the day.
By her own confession, Martine's faux pas had been to choose two dishes with potato, which together were too filling. She particularly liked the lamb sausages, which she said tasted a lot like north African merguez.
Both my dishes proved a good choice, though the salad (served with streaky bacon, peanuts, blue cheese and rocket) turned out to be a main course masquerading as a starter (ie it was huge).
As a result, I found that I couldn't even finish both fishcakes, so generous were the portions. A pity, that. Made with buttered spinach, chilli and honey dressing, it was a sin to leave one of this hearty pair untouched on the plate.
Later, when I told our waitress I was stuffed, she reassured me that I wasn't the first customer unable to clear his plate.
Similarly, my partner agreed she too had underestimated the starters and had been feeling full-up herself by the time the main course was wheeled on.
So, despite the mention of tiramisu and profiteroles with fresh cream and dark chocolate sauce, we both agreed that we couldn't possibly squeeze in dessert.
Next time, we'll skip the starters completely to leave room for the sweets, instead of simply rounding off the meal with coffees before asking for the bill.
The service was pleasantly laid-back throughout. Often when a restaurant is empty you can feel overly fussed over, though this was never the case here. We were allowed to take our time, but never felt neglected or forgotten about.
From the food to the service, clearly there's nothing dumb about this Blonde.
THE BILL• 2 Two-course set lunches £21.80
• 2 Glasses of Merlot £8.10
• 1 Cafe latte £1.70
• 1 Double espresso £1.70
Total £33.90Quality ****
Menu Choice ***
Surroundings ***
Service ****
•
Blonde, St Leonard's Street, 0131-668 2917The full article contains 806 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
