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Tuesday, 13th May 2008

Robert McNeil

Robert McNeil - Only eleven units a day? Make mine a double WE ARE all alcoholics now. The number of teetotallers is thought to have dwindled to 17, and statistics show employers discriminate against them and they've few friends. Shame really. But that's progress, and there's no going back to the

Founding fathers knew a good idea when they saw it, even if they disagreed about Sudockie THE Scotsman is no stranger to breaking the news, and over the years it has had occasion to make a little of it as well – like just now.

Robert McNeil - Give me rock without roll, country without western, Chas without Dave WIT'S end

Robert McNeil: Strange goings on in Morningside – that'll be the UFOs then THE MAN in sunglasses sat on the top of Blackford Hill, scouring the night sky. He must have come in the wake of the UFO sightings. How exciting. Were dreamy wanderings on the gentle slopes now to be invested with X-Files glamour and mystery?

Robert McNeil - Money for nothing and Bargain Hunt for free

A break from the norm but only if it's dull, predictable and cheap

ROBERT MCNEIL: Return ticket to paradise will make you miserable

Frantic multi-tasking leaves us pining for the halcyon Nineties

Robert McNeil - If you live in a haven, where do you retreat to?

ROBERT MCNEIL: Freeze my brain and stick it in the desert? Er, maybe not

Art of survival: potter, glide and, whatever you do, don't worry

How to go there and back again, and again, and again

Robert McNeil: What, me, an ethnic-cleansing philistine? That's a bit rich

Robert McNeil: Keep your heid doon and you may well escape bad things

Robert McNeil

Broadcast yourself? We've had quite enough of that, thank you

Robert McNeil: They may take our freedom, but they will never take our mince

Robert McNeil

Is it cruel and unusual – or will it produce a better class of ned?

Robert McNeil: Here's to Honorius, who played with chickens while Rome burned

Biscuit diet has given me a crumb of comfort

Sorry, I still want to turn over new leaf

Something tells me our veneer of civilisation may be at risk

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