Miscellany

CATCH UP ON THE WEEK

SUNDAY

A cyclone swept through military-ruled Burma, leaving 100,000 people feared dead. UN troops were sent in to deliver medical and humanitarian aid, but the military junta blocked relief efforts from many aid organisations.

MONDAY

New figures reveal that alcohol abuse costs Scotland £2.25bn a year – twice the previous estimate. Deaths from cirrhosis of the liver, caused by alcohol abuse, have seen the fastest growth rate in Europe.

TUESDAY

Thousands were evacuated from the town of Chaitén in Southern Chile as lava began to spew out of a volcano which had been dormant for thousands of years.

WEDNESDAY

Former corporate lawyer Dmitry Medvedev, above, was sworn in as Russia's new president. In a first for the nation, outgoing president Vladimir Putin was elected as prime minister, retaining his grip on power.

THURSDAY

A Tibetan woman held the Olympic Torch aloft at the summit of Mount Everest, the crowning achievement of a journey mired in controversy and protests. Pro-Tibet groups criticised Beijing for trying to politicise the games.

FRIDAY

Gunmen from the Shia militant group Hezbollah took control of most of western Beirut, driving out supporters of the Western-backed government. The gunmen, who support Hezbollah and its Shia opposition allies, also forced the closure of pro-government media.

GOOD WEEK

Kylie Minogue

The pint-sized Australian pop star can add another glittery piece of jewellery to her collection – the Order of Arts and Letters medal, France's highest cultural honour. Hours after the ceremony, she kicked off her 2008 X tour in Paris, billed to be her biggest yet.

BAD WEEK

50 Cent

The bad boy rapper will probably think twice about bringing his bling to Angola. Last week, while performing there for the International Peace Festival, a fan rushed the stage and snatched his crucifix chain necklace. A man was later arrested after being turned in by his parents.

WHAT THE PAPERS SAID

...about Wendy Alexander's referendum call

Daily Mail

If Alexander and the other Unionist leaders had had the courage to press for the referendum a year ago, they would have put Salmond on the back foot. Now it is too late. Alexander, the architect of devolution, has brought her party and her career to the brink of ruin.

The Sun

Politics, like life, is all about preparation. Alexander has been exposed as woefully underprepared. The communications within this party have been shown to be shambolic.

The Times

The relevant question is not whether a plebiscite on Scotland's constitutional future will take place in 2009 rather than 2010 but if she will still be in her present post by then.

The Scotsman

Alex Salmond has good cause to smile. The Labour Party is riven in two. Labour in Scotland has shown a determination to go its own way, leaving Brown in a perilous position. If he cannot lead in Scotland, where can he lead?

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

Historically, drama has always been about pitting women against women and letting them scratch one another's eyes out."

- Kim Cattrall about the success of Sex And The City

"It has gone bloody mad out there. It really is broken Britain. Something needs to be done and it has got to be radical."

- Sir Alan Sugar blasts Britain's stab culture

"An accident waiting to happen."

- Labour MP Diane Abbott on Boris Johnson's position as London mayor

"Every prison built means one less hospital or school for our communities."

- Kenny MacAskill responds to Scotland's crowded prisons

"If Mugabe thinks he's going to get a default presidency, that will be over our dead bodies."

- Tendai Biti, MDC secretary general

"Thank you, Mrs Thatcher, for putting me in the company of the most dangerous criminals in the country."

- Pete Doherty, as he walked free early from Wormwood Scrubs prison

"There were some days where I thought after I had my son and I couldn't lose the weight and I was depressed: Will I ever be able to go back? Will they take me back?

- Gwyneth Paltrow on getting back into blockbuster films

RIP: RAY MICHIE

February 4, 1934 – May 6, 2008

Janet Ray Michie earned the grand title of Baroness Michie of Gallanach after a distinguished political career, but she will be best remembered as a champion of home rule and a tireless campaigner for the Gaelic language. Attracted to liberal politics, she rose to Scottish vice-president of the party and was elected MP for the Argyll and Bute seat in 1987. She survived the Westminster bear pit until 2001. When introduced in the Lords, she became the first Peer to pledge the oath of allegiance in Gaelic. She died, aged 74, from cancer.

THE WEEK ON THE WEB

Here's one to watch from behind the sofa. It's long-lost footage of Margaret Thatcher's first Scottish interview after she became Tory leader in 1975, giving her blessing to Scottish devolution.

www.stv.tv/content/news/Politics_new/politics_then/

Watch animated bunnies re-enact your favourite films – Casablanca, Pulp Fiction, Alien and Raiders Of The Lost Ark – and all in the space of just 30 seconds.

www.angryalien.com/

Gluttons for pun-ishment will enjoy this groan-inducing collection of UK shop names. Favourites include the Frying Scotsman, Austin Flowers, Sofa So Good and kebab seller Jason's Doner Van.

www.shophorror.co.uk/pages/gallery.html

BEST OF THE BLOGS

I'm currently working on a piece for a benefit supporting the local arts organisation. It will be comprised of a kind of carpet of one hundred guitar pedals, which benefit attendees must walk on in order to enter the main dining and performance space. A guitar will be plugged into and run through all the pedals, and then into an amp. Of course, the sounds are fairly random, and stepping on one or two of the distortion or fuzz pedals raises the screaming noise level pretty high, but that will be adjusted.

David Byrne, http://journal.davidbyrne.com/

The Twat is off to do some conservation work in Shropshire tomorrow before we all go up to Windermere for a wedding of one of his long-time friends. The thought of meeting the Twat's friends makes me very nervous. Very. But I'm also very excited. He may have human friends after all, so I don't have to learn a special language or anything.

My Boyfriend Is A Twat, http://www.myboyfriendisatwat.com

George Bush implied over the weekend that one reason for the global food crisis is that Indians are eating too much. The White House tried to make things right, with spokesman Scott Stanzel insisting that Bush meant it as a "good thing" that developing countries have better standards of living. But apparently India is not buying it.

Karen Tumulty, Swampland, http://time-blog.com/swampland/

TABLOID TALK

A proud couple push their beloved baby Jessy through a park in a buggy. Nothing strange about that. But Jessy, who is wearing a nappy, is a white-faced capuchin monkey. It's all part of a growing phenomenon in the US called "monkids" – monkeys brought up as replacement children. Lori Johnson, 58, of Orlando, Florida, bought Jessy when her youngest son left home. "I felt a bit lost and wanted someone to look after. A vet said if I wanted a child for life, I should consider a primate," she said. As monkeys can live to 60, Lori has had also had to make a $20,000 provision in her will for Jessy's future care.