LADIES, I'm talking to you. Pay attention. Before you shunt off in your charabancs to Blackpool for the lights, make sure they've put enough shillings in the meter down there.
Paris is slashing the Eiffel Tower's illuminations (20,000 bulbs that twinkle for ten minutes every hour after dusk) by half, to 200 hours per year.
A green initiative (purely symbolic, says the mayor's office, the saving would barely buy you a co
gnac or a string of onions) but enough for wacky Westminster to suggest something of the sort for Blackpool's Tower.
And, these days, what could happen on the Costa Lancashire (the Blackpool abominations?) could happen here with the Castle. Floodlit every second night? Or after dusk every evening for an hour to keep tourists sweet?
Ear's to Joanna Give Joanna Lumley her due. She does talk a good game: "We have all these diversional luxuries, like iPods. Nobody gets out a guitar and sings while their friend plays the penny whistle. You just stick something in your ear and don't speak to anybody else.
"I don't understand why you'd put an iPod in your ear when you could be walking down the street saying good morning to someone or listening to birdsong."
Brown 'n' out Sleep easy, our Prime Minister cares. He was telling us in May: "Going round the country there is a sense that people are worried. I understand this and I feel the hurt they feel." We're sure he does.
Sincere to a fault, the caring, sharing Gordon is telling us now: "What the people of Britain are concerned about is their mortgages, their gas and electricity bills."
Every chance they're more concerned about somebody like you in charge of the country.
Afterwords . . . . . Michael Winner talking about his big pal John Cleese, and this was before John came up to Edinburgh for the Festival and squired Britt Ekland into the Cafe Royal Oyster Bar: "I don't think he's looking to be serious at the moment. I think he's looking for a good time. He's not looking to get married. He says he doesn't know what it means any more. And he wouldn't marry without a prenup."
The full article contains 369 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.