IS the First Minister on the case? Read on. If it's not the wiggle of the kilt with Mike Brander, it's the waggle of the tail. Permanently kilted, he writes books for a living – over 50 at the last count – and breeds dogs as a hobby.
It's his latest book, Breeding Working Dogs, that this week brought him from his East Lothian home back to his native Edinburgh in decidedly bee-in-my-bonnet mode.
His bark can be as bad as his bite when his dander's up. What gets him going is the
Mutilation of Dogs Act passed by Labour, banning the docking of pups' tails at birth and supported by vets who clearly haven't seen undocked working dogs, predominantly spaniels that hunt, point and retrieve, going about their business.
Their tails are horribly mutilated in thick, thorny cover, leading to amputation, and he provides bloody photographic evidence.
You're coming on a bit strong about this, John, I can hear some of you yelp. But my vested interest in the breed has me prowling Edinburgh's streets and exchanging words – nothing nasty, just opinions – with those nice people walking undocked cocker spaniels.
Telling them their dog looks downright daft could lead to things confrontational. Not before asking if they realise that most sheep in this country are docked soon after birth, with no public outcry.
Mike, a gentleman's gentleman when you meet him, has sent a copy of his book, replete with picture of a bruised and bloodied tail, to Alex Salmond, reminding him he promised the Scottish Gamekeepers Association to revoke the act. Hurry, Alex! I'd hate to see the bruised Brander fined £5000 or jailed.
I swear by it See all this guff about citizenship ceremonies for school-leavers and swearing allegiance to the Queen, it's another distress signal from all-at-sea Gordon Brown and his crew.
You'd think they should have more to do, like restoring law and order to our streets.
But I'm all for our kids in Edinburgh taking the oath. At ten they should swear allegiance to the football club of their choice. Either Hibernian or Heart of Midlothian.
At an official coming-of-age ceremony they should be made to declare: "I swear to be a Jambo, or to be a Hibby, for the rest of my life."
The full article contains 393 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
