PAMELA (nee Howard-Snow) Sandilands was the widow of the Rt Hon James Bruce Sandilands, 14th Lord Torphichen.
Sadly, her mother and only brother died during her childhood. Her father (a company director and chemical engineer) then became increasin
gly ill as a result of injuries he had sustained in the First World War, leaving Pamela to be looked after by her aunt and uncle.
She went to school at the Convent (The Old Palace) at Mayfield, Sussex, then entered the Royal Academy of Music, where she obtained her LRAM degree in piano, singing, and composition. She then trained with the Red Cross and became a member of the Voluntary Aid Detachment, serving with the Royal Navy in the last years of the Second World War.
With war over she joined the Young Conservatives and was elected a borough councillor for Hampstead (one of the youngest elected at that time), before eventually marrying Thomas Philip Hodson Pressinger (a former RAF officer) in Rome. Sadness then struck Pamela once more with the sudden and untimely death of her husband.
Ten years passed before she became reacquainted with an old friend, James Bruce Sandilands (Master of Torphichen).
The two had met and become friends many years before while he was a young undergraduate at Oxford. James had then married and divorced and had two grown-up children.
Pamela and James had their wedding in the United States, where he was a history professor, yet within a short time James's elderly father (the 13th Lord Torphichen) died suddenly at home in Scotland. This forced James and Pamela to return to Britain earlier than envisaged to look after the Sandilands historic family seat, Calder, in Midlothian, a castle built in the 1300s.
It must have interested Pamela to learn that among the many distinguished people to have visited or stayed in Calder were King Robert II, whose daughter Princess Jean had married the 2nd Feudal Baron Sandilands of Calder; the renowned protestant preacher John Knox, in the 16th century; and the celebrated composer and pianist Chopin, in the 19th century.
After James had properly reacquainted himself with Calder, and begun shouldering the responsibilities of its management and upkeep, he made a point of taking Pamela, along with her two children, to see Torphichen Preceptory. There he explained to them in greater detail the history of Torphichen and his family's ancient links with the Hospitaller Order of St John (Order of Malta).
The order was familiar to Pamela. On becoming widowed she had involved herself each year with helping the sick at Lourdes with members of the order. She made many good friends, and in 1990 she was elected a Companion of the Order of Malta (Delegation of Scotland).
For almost 35 years Pamela was president of the Ladies of Charity of St Vincent de Paul (Westminster division), one of the oldest charities, established in 1617. Pamela later obtained a diploma in psychotherapy and counselling to assist her dealing with those in need of help. Among her other activities she was involved with the charity Aid to the Church in Need, the Catholic Prisoners Aid Society, and the Hospital of St John and Elizabeth in St John's Wood, north London.
As a fellow of the Composers Guild of Great Britain and the British Academy of Composers and Songwriters, Pamela had numerous musical compositions published and performed. One of the more unusual was in 1988 when she was inspired to write music to Irina Ratushinskays's Song of Freedom, that was later performed in front of the poet following Ratushinskays's release from Soviet prison.
Pamela always had a fascination with Russia, its music, art, and Orthodox church. Perhaps more unusual among her Russian friends was Svetlana Alliluyeva, Stalin's daughter.
In 1996 Pamela was honoured with the award of Catholic Woman of the Year in recognition of her charity work.
Then three years later Pamela experienced another major set-back in her life. A severe stroke left her almost totally paralysed. However, once again she showed great fortitude, and was looked after by her son and daughter, assisted by young carers.
Her requiem mass and funeral on 8 April was held at the Brompton Oratory, west London, and attended by many friends who wished to celebrate her life. Special tributes were given at the end of the mass by two old friends of the family: the Oscar-winner Julian Fellowes and the Viscount Monckton of Brenchley.
They, like others present, wished to pay their respects to a brave and saintly woman who faced her difficult situation with good humour, serenity and unwavering Christian faith.
