Jokes of the Day

A Lewisman, planning a trip to Edinburgh, telephoned the airline to ask how long the flight from Stornoway took.

"Just one second, sir," said the lady at the other end. "Thanks very much," the man said, and hung up.

Craig Black, Stenhouse

After five years working in an office, a cleaner thought it was time to ask for more pay. But when she suggested it, the office manager looked at her in amazement. "Are you trying to take a rise out of me?" he asked.

Alex Paterson, Lochend Road

A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying: "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, please stand up."

Right away, little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said: "Why do you think you're stupid, little Johnny?"

"I don't, miss, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."

Eric Matthews, Newhaven

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