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Sunday, 21st March 2010

Fordyce Maxwell

Fordyce Maxwell: 'That urge to play football outside as long as possible is a sure sign of spring' I SAW something unusual this week, a group of boys playing football in the dusk. Not an organised game with two teams in expensive miniature replica shirts and fancy boots, an official referee being screamed at by pushy parents and the players tryin

Fordyce Maxwell: 'Shepherds will testify there is no limit to how suicidal sheep can be' IF IT were true that we learn more from failure than success I could qualify for Mastermind on the subject of sheep, particularly methods tried to revive a moribund lamb. So often in the final throes the Monty Python dead parrot sketch came to mind:

Fordyce Maxwell: 'A farmer lectured me on the evil of begging bowls and subsidies. What irony' IT WAS disconcerting to realise that I have seen more ends than beginnings. First football club, first cricket club, primary school and secondary school, first newspaper, family farm, all gone.

Fordyce Maxwell: 'If I had a serious illness I'd rather rely on medical science than homeopathy' OVER the years I've found that Prince Charles has one useful attribute – whatever he's against I can feel comfortable about supporting. And vice versa. So if he supports homeopathy I'm reassured there is something mystical and unproven a

Fordyce Maxwell: 'Day-to-day kindnesses are more important than a big gesture once a year'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'Tattoos, thongs and bizarre hair I can almost live with, but moob jobs?'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'The chances of alien life reaching our speck of a planet are near nil'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'A friend I asked about organ donation said it was fine as long as you're dead'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'Family photographs recall times past, but why do we keep so many?'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'Mains electricity is great and a row of pylons a small price to pay'

Fordyce Maxwell: Putting livestock first means farmers bear the brunt in harshest of winters

Fordyce Maxwell: 'The man spun round and fell over his dog when I answered my mobile'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'We should take each season as it comes and enjoy the best bits'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'I was identified several times as Irish and sometimes Aberdonian'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'A search for a gravestone unsuccessful, we began to look for Lassodie'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'Thrift is back in fashion, but for some of us it has never been out'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'Where does a 200-kilo pig sleep? Anywhere it damn well likes'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'War is hellish, people die in huge numbers and lessons go unlearned'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'I marvel at the many examples of pastry, meat, and magic ingredient'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'We've discovered to our cost that bankers couldn't do big sums'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'Few people, fewer still after they've tried the recipes, buy pumpkins to eat'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'The vicar's real problem is confusion about what a funeral should be'

Fordyce Maxwell: 'Hearts sink when the words community and forum are heard together'

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