Fiona McCade: Why is the pregnant body given a bumpy ride?

HERE'S a confession that won't win me many friends in the universal sisterhood of women: when I was young and arrogant, I thought pregnant women looked awful.

I remember going swimming with a girlfriend and finding that we were visiting the pool at the same time as some women doing pregnancy aqua-aerobics. I'll never forget the appalled look on her face when I complained about having to share the pool with a bunch of wobbling whales and wondered why they couldn't just stay at home until they looked half-decent again.

Well, the fates paid me back for that one. When it was my turn to gestate, I swelled up like a blimp for most of the nine months – face included – and looked disgusting. But I still ventured out of the house. I even went swimming and inflicted my grotesque appearance on all and sundry. Amazingly, people were very understanding about my predicament and nobody screamed and ran away.

And so I realised that pregnancy simply reflects a different kind of beauty from the anorexic chic of the glossy magazines, and I'm now able to appreciate how lovely some women look when they're glowing, and identify with the ones who don't.

Although I took my time reaching this state of acceptance, I've never been as unreasonable as some of the inhabitants of the Yorkshire market town of Selby, who have complained about the appearance of a dummy in a lingerie shop window which has a pregnant belly.

Shopkeeper Amanda Bere put the mannequin on display to advertise her range of pregnancy underwear, but soon realised she was becoming the focus of bad feeling and fewer people were coming into the shop.

She believes the people most offended were older women, a fact confirmed by some BBC interviews conducted in Selby about the furore: the men all thought the dummy looked fine, but one elderly lady seemed to speak for her generation when she said: "It's not a nice thing to have about. Not pleasant to look at. A nice tub of flowers would look much nicer."

Have I gone to sleep and woken up in 1840? I haven't automatically applauded when the likes of Demi Moore display their gleaming bumps, or when some Vicky Pollard look-a-like waddles past me wearing a crop-top, with all her stretch-marked glory hanging out over her hipsters, but we're talking about a plastic mannequin here! How can anyone in their right mind deem that offensive?

There must have been a pregnant woman in Selby once. Was she told to stay at home, in purdah, until she delivered? Or are no babies born in Selby because all the expectant mothers are hounded out of town until they no longer look so unpleasant?

I accept that I used to have an infantile attitude towards the pregnant female form, but at least I grew (in more ways than one) out of it. I'm not going to argue the aesthetics of the child-bearing belly – we live in a free country; you're allowed not to like the look of it – but it's a fact of life. It's the fact of life. Live with it!

It's incredible that the depiction of pregnancy, whether real or not, still has the power to shock. Is the pre– or even post-birth belly the last taboo? The media coverage of celebrity pregnancies suggests that the smaller your bump, the more amazing you are (is that a Malteser up your jumper, Nicole, or are you eight months gone?). Then, once you've had the baby, you can't still be carrying any weight a month later, or you are considered to be some sort of freak.

I thought the older generation would be immune to such shallowness, but apparently they have the same view. Both the new and old ideal is to get invisibly pregnant, have the baby secretly, then re-appear after the birth looking as though nothing has happened.

Well, something needs to happen to bring Selby into the 21st century, so I suggest a flash-mob of the country's pregnant women turn up there and celebrate their condition by displaying their bellies with pride.

Meanwhile, Ms Bere has bowed to pressure and moved the mannequin to the back of the shop, sighing: "I don't think you would find this (response] in Leeds or York". And, hopefully, not in Scotland, either.