Beware the perils of the panic purchase

PANIC is a terrifying thing. It makes you say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing and, most worryingly at this time of year, buy the wrong thing.

Spare a thought for poor Coleen McLoughlin, who just splashed out £3,000 for a coffee machine that she saw in Manchester Airport for darling Wayne. Leaving aside the fact that she saw it in the airport (and by that I mean she saw it installed in the airport cafeteria rather than in a shop which, let's face it, would've been bad enough), tradesmen don't think that it will even work when installed in a home as opposed to catering premises.

We've all done a bit of panic purchasing in our time. The pressure really tells when it comes to people we want to impress. New in-laws, a new boyfriend or girlfriend; but throwing money at gifts seldom works out well. What happens when the mist of fear descends – as time runs out and the hordes on the Christmas high street seem to get ever more impenetrable – is that what we lack in inspiration we make up for in spending.

"The later they leave it, often the more they spend," says Michael Laing, managing director of Links the jewellers. "Being a jewellery store, the gender of our shoppers shifts from 1 December, when it's very mixed, to the last week before Christmas being almost exclusively male."

The dangers of the panic purchase are manifold. Suddenly, although you've never even seen your partner putting on perfume, you're sure that a Miller Harris personalised scent, a snip at £2,000, will do the trick. Or how about a Mont Blanc limited-edition Marlene Dietrich pen for the person who never writes a thing, being utterly wedded to their BlackBerry. There are only 1,901 in existence after all, with a cap and barrel made of sterling silver, mother-of-pearl inlays at the top and bottom, and a sapphire and six diamonds on the clip. You can hear the price on application, but given that the cap ring is studded with 16 diamonds and the nib is platinum-plated 18-carat gold, it's not going to be cheap.

But last minute doesn't always have to mean little thought, says Laing: "Once they turn their mind to it, a Christmas gift does become quite an emotional purchase. Our male customers are very focused on trying to get something that's just right."

Annette Lamb of Harvey Nichols agrees that it's men who are usually the culprits, leaving everything till the last gasp, but believes that the rise of the personal shopper has helped mitigate potential gifting disasters. "With panic buying, anything will do and you just know the gift is going to come back. Our sales assistants are great, they'll spend time with people to try to help as much as they can. People come in to panic buy, but they help them out."

The store's personal shopper, Kevin Stewart (who did his Christmas shopping in October, by the way), says: "Don't panic. Make a list of those you still need to buy for, with a budget. Give it to (a personal shopper] and in two hours we can sort it all out for you." In Laing's experience, the customers who have more money tend to be most careful about their choices. In his 30 years in retail, Laing says he's seen a massive rise in the luxury market. "When I look at our Christmas sales, the volume hasn't gone up but the value certainly has," he says. "People don't want more clutter, but better quality items. Big diamond rings have been selling very well, in addition to the more expensive and collectible watches."

Scots are big spenders at Christmas time. According to the Bank of Scotland, the typical Christmas spend is £434 on gifts, which is £50 more than the UK average. A new report by ICICI Bank may suggest that recent jitters in the financial world may have dampened festive spending plans for some: the survey calculates that one in four Britons are limiting Christmas spending to a budget of £300. That's down from an average spend of £837 last Christmas. But for those in the top wealth brackets there's no reason to count the pennies. Laura Lambie, an investment manager with Gerrard Investment Management in Edinburgh, says, "If you put it into stocks and shares, the two big luxury brands are Burberry and Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy. Certainly the perceived wisdom is that even in times of economic downturn, the very wealthy are never really affected by a recession. Where that comes slightly unstuck is in instances where the luxury goods have started tapping into markets that will be affected by recession.

"Five years ago, you would never have thought of spending £800 on a handbag, but now people do. It will be interesting to see whether the big luxury goods companies are protected or not, now that they've expanded their market to aspiring individuals who want the latest Chloe bag but, if things get tight, will easily survive without it."

Though it's clear that there's a growing market of customers willing to spend not hundreds but thousands of pounds on a present, whether panic buying or not, Lambie sounds a note of caution. "You wonder if this new wealth is sustainable in a recession," she says. "Traditionally luxury goods have been bought by the super-rich, not the newly wealthy, so if the economic climate turns less favourable it may affect what they're willing to spend."

When it comes to Christmas gifts, remember: actions speak louder than words. I'm not saying that your significant other will be over the moon with a hand-knitted coin purse, rather than that amusing paintball tank costing £8,000, but most of us like to think we've had a bit of time spent on us, not just the swipe of plastic. It's the thought that counts: leaving the price tag on, no matter how impressive, is not the way to do it in style.

Paintball tank

SPOILED children and frustrated bachelors will love this ultra-blokey gift, a mini tank that fires paintballs. Perfect for storming into the boardroom for a spot of boss-confrontation, or zooming around the playground and making all the poor children envious, each tank is made to measure and comes with an integral roll-cage as well as an engine firewall.

• www.iwantoneofthose.com

Chanel Forever handbag

THERE was a time when Chanel's quilted 2:55 handbag was the ultimate fashion status symbol. Clearly, among the super-rich, it has become rather common, because Chanel has recently released the "Diamond Forever" tote, a white alligator-skin version of the iconic handbag with intertwining Cs on the clasp encrusted in 334 diamonds (a total of 3.56 carats), set in 18-carat white gold. Only 13 of the bags are available – but with the same price tag as a small house, you won't be risking dancing aroun
• www.chanel.com

Diamond-encrusted iPhone

IF YOU'RE desperate for Apple's new iPhone but don't feel you can justify the £269 price tag, then this version is definitely one to steer clear of. This customised iPhone is made of 18-carat white gold, with a rhodium trim, and is adorned with 138 princess-cut and 180 brilliant-cut diamonds, totalling roughly 17 carats. Perhaps the most short-sighted purchase possible, considering that the model will look dated within a matter of months. Peter Aloisson, who specialises in the phones covered in
• www.aloisson.com

Silver Marmite jar lid

THEY say you either love it or hate it, but surely even the most ardent Marmite fan would be a little disappointed to find a Marmite jar lid in their stocking on Christmas morning? Fair enough, it's made from embossed sterling silver, but still – it's a condiment lid with no condiment underneath. Also available are a silver Colman's Mustard lid and an HP Sauce "sleeve" for £1,200.

• www.theofennell.com

Macallan Whisky in Lalique bottle

FOR those with expensive tastes who also like a dram, Macallan whisky has released a 55-year-old single malt in a limited-edition Lalique crystal container. Only 420 bottles are available for sale and, at £6,000 a bottle, it's probably one to save for a special occasion.

• www.themacallan.com

Guerlain KissKiss Gold and Diamonds lipstick

DIAMONDS may be forever, but lipstick most certainly isn't. This one has the pricetag of an heirloom, but whether anyone would want to be left a used lipstick is questionable. French cosmetics house Guerlain has released the KissKiss Gold and Diamonds lipstick at Bergdorf Goodman in New York, where you'll get a consultation with Guerlain's artistic director, Olivier Echaudemaison, and a lipstick shade customised for you in an 18-carat-gold lipstick tube encrusted with 199 diamonds, plus rubies

• www.guerlain.com

Lyn Harris bespoke perfume

A CHIC bottle of Chanel No 5 in your stocking seems a bit dull compared to this bespoke gift. Everyone from Marilyn Monroe to Nicole Kidman reeks of that stuff, but with this bespoke service from perfumer Lyn Harris, pictured, you can ensure your scent is entirely your own. Over a period of three months, Harris, who is based in London, will create a perfume that is completely unique to you, and then have the scent registered.

• millerharris.com

Diamond-encrusted computer mouse

THIS monstrous creation is described as "a perfect gift for a 60th wedding anniversary", but surely there is no gift on the planet less romantic than a computer mouse? Cast from 18-carat white gold and set with 59 brilliant-cut diamonds, the mouse can be personalised with your initials spelled out in diamonds, and comes with a three-year warranty. So, diamonds aren't so much for ever, just for 36 months – and then only if you've kept the receipt.

• www.fabstuff.net

Mont Blanc Charlie Chaplin pen

A CHEWED Biro just doesn't cut it any more. Created to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the legendary silent comedian's death on Christmas Day 1977, the Charlie Chaplin 88 Limited Edition pen by Mont Blanc features intricate cog-wheels made of solid white gold, a mother-of-pearl bowler hat on the tip and a cane-shaped solid-white-gold clip.

This really isn't a pen you'd want to lose down the back of the sofa.

• www.montblanc.com

The Ashera designer cat

GONE are the days when a furry new addition to the family meant answering an ad in the local paper or heading to an animal shelter. For the price of a car, you can get your hands on the world's "largest, rarest and most exotic" domestic cat, the Ashera. Bred in the US, these fine felines stand 4ft (1.2m) tall on their hind legs, can live up to 25 years and weigh in at as much as 30lb (14kg).

• www.lifestylepets.com