FUNNY how things change. Once upon a time, Reclaim the Streets was a random collective of dreadlocked crusties that threw illegal raves on public highways in order to challenge notions of freedom (man). Now it's a Tory policy, unveiled this week by David "Mr Potato Head" Cameron as a central plank in his Childhood Review. You've got to wonder what's next. Socialist Worker's Top Ten Sexiest Tories? Nah, what am I thinking? They wouldn't even get five.
Anyway, this Childhood Review by the Conservatives is a funny one. It was developed in response to a report that you may remember, put out by Unicef last year, which suggested that Britain was the least child-friendly of 21 developed nations. Cameron
and friends think that one of the ways we can change this is by disciplining other people's children.
"We need adults to feel able to exert authority over and show compassion towards other people's children," he said at the launch of the report. "This basic social responsibility, in many ways the mark of a civilised society, has been dramatically undermined by a risk-averse health and safety culture which, at times, has poisoned the relationship between adults and children."
I do not have children. I have, however, friends who do, and the subject of telling them off has come up. It's something I feel uncomfortable doing. They're not my children, I have no direct experience of raising them or anyone else's children, and I'm always worried I'll say or do the wrong thing. The idea of admonishing a complete stranger's child, one I happen to come across in the street who is acting cantankerously, or even dangerously, is not one I relish, be I "reclaiming the streets" or not.
The thing is, despite my misgivings about disciplining other people's kids, it's easy to see where Cameron's coming from here. Basic social responsibility is, he's right, the mark of a civilised society. But wander into any town centre in Scotland on a Saturday night and it swiftly becomes apparent that civilised society has long since left the park bench.
In a week when it was revealed (in a report that was, incidentally, put together by former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith) that there are 170 teenage gangs roaming the streets of Glasgow, making it "notorious for its levels of youth and violent crime" and "six times worse than London", it is perhaps clearer than ever that attempts to reclaim the streets of this country could be dangerously misguided, if not simply dangerous.
The news is regularly littered with the tragic tales of those who have attempted to intervene when they've seen children or teenagers committing a crime – such as Gary Newlove, who died of head injuries last August after confronting a group of youths vandalising a car outside his home, or Kevin Johnson, who was stabbed to death last May after asking youths outside his house to keep the noise down.
Does that mean we should stand by and do nothing when we watch a crime being committed by a youth? Absolutely not. But rather than intervene myself, I'll be calling the police.
Gloom Secretary needs to lighten upWHY does Jacqui Smith always look like she's about to burst into tears? While Hillary Clinton has turned girly gurning into a political art form across the pond, the Home Secretary's attempts at gaining the sympathy vote have been less successful. In fact, her standard facial expression these days seems to be that of a six-year-old who's just had her Polly Pocket doll confiscated. Word to the wise, Jacqui: try smiling occasionally. If nothing else, it'll help distinguish you from Gordon Brown.
Girl power runs out of steamSO SURPRISE, surprise, the Spice Girls have cancelled the rest of their worldwide reunion tour amid rumours of fallouts and cat fights, and will now no longer play previously promised dates in Australia, Argentina and China. "Really sorry if we didn't get to see you this time round," they twittered in a joint statement. "We all have other commitments in our lives now, but who knows what will happen next."
I love this. Imagine turning up to the office and chirruping "I'd love to make that report deadline, boss, but I'm afraid I have other commitments in my life. But hey, who knows what'll happen next!"
Take the money and run, girls. And this time, don't come back.
• One to silence the world's podiatrists. A study by a female Italian doctor has demonstrated that women who hold their foot at a 15-degree angle to the ground – the equivalent of a two- inch heel – have as good posture as those who wear flat shoes. Apparently, this stance meant there was less activity in the pelvic floor muscles than those wearing flip-flops, thus improving the muscles' strength and ability to contract. Ergo: high heels equal better sex. A claim, one suspects, that could never have been made for the Scholl sandal.
The full article contains 838 words and appears in The Scotsman newspaper.
