Get on your bike, by all means, but give me a miss

I DON'T cycle. I mean I can, I've still got my Cycling Proficiency Test Certificate somewhere and I know which one's the spoke and which one's the brake. Just don't ask me to enter the Tour de France or change an inner tube on a hard shoulder.

I don't drive either, but it's funny, because somehow I've still managed to learn how to tell the difference between a green light and a red one. Which is more, of course, than can be said for David Cameron, the esteemed Tory party leader, who was la...