Just be glad Arnie isn't terminating Giffnock's budget

I HAVE never been to America. On my list of must-see countries, the US is neatly sandwiched between North Korea and San Marino. Kids in my classes love the country, because they have been to Disneyland and met a three-dimensional Mickey Mouse. Who says that cartoon heroes have no depth?

I am sure America would make me feel welcome. After all, most Americans can quote verbatim the bit of doggerel scribbled at the bottom of the Statue of Liberty:

"Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

Th...