THERE can't be a zoo anywhere in the world that doesn't want a Panda; they are the crown jewel of furry mammals. So it's hardly surprising that Edinburgh Zoo would become hugely excited at the prospect of getting hold of two.
One of the more surprising aspects of this putative deal is that the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland (RZSS) would only be leasing them for a period of ten years, it being previously unknown at large that endangered species were available on such
terms. Maybe we could get some rare monkeys on hire purchase.
The background financials underscore something very important about giant pandas – they provide what is known as "boffo box-office" in the zoo world. No other animal on the planet has the potential to generate the revenue that a pair of these would. Of course, boffo box-office also implies enormous queues and parking problems. If you think the road to the airport is slow now, wait until the pandas arrive.
The neighbouring Holiday Inn might be licking its lips at the prospect of all-in Panda Packages, but local residents might soon grow weary of incessant crowds.
The financials go both ways, though. Zoos that host pandas typically must pay $1million in fees to China, and any cubs that result from breeding are automatically the property of the Peoples' Republic. While it's perfectly clear why Edinburgh Zoo might want pandas, one has to wonder what's in it for the animals.
Of course, the pandas in question are not exactly free to choose. Like all zoo animals, they have more in common with prisoners than they do with tourists. Regardless of how sumptuous their dwellings, no zoo animal has ever volunteered for captivity. Intriguingly, it appears that the Chinese authorities might be bringing back what was called Panda Diplomacy in the 1970s; using the pandas as means of establishing Western ties in the period of the Cold War.
While the Cold War is over, China seems more eager than ever to integrate itself fully into the world, the Olympics being but part of that plan.
Edinburgh Zoo will no doubt make the most of an explanation that the pandas will be coming over as part of an integrated programme with the Chinese authorities to successfully breed them in captivity. Such programmes are needed because pandas lead lifestyles that don't exactly lend themselves to successful integration with the unceasing human demand for natural resources.
Surviving on rare bamboo at increasingly high altitudes in remote China isn't exactly a recipe for success. Nor is having a unique fur coat a wise choice when it comes to avoiding poachers.
The plan has its detractors. One does struggle to see what exactly Edinburgh has in common with the natural panda homelands. Nevertheless we should take the RZSS at their word and allow that the pandas are coming over as part of an ongoing campaign to grow numbers through breeding in captivity.
Zoos are either places that offer such programmes to endangered species or they're not. And if they are then it doesn't matter what species we are talking about – we should be able to assume with some degree of safety that the experts in China and Scotland are both serious about the endeavour and understand what is involved for the welfare of the individual pandas and the species as a whole.
Of course it would be nice if everyone just gave money to China to save the panda and its environment. It would also be nice if we could end starvation in Africa without pop stars staging more dodgy stadium concerts. But the world doesn't work like that.
Seeing red over axeTHE demise of the public telephone box is to be regretted. The news that one-in-six of Edinburgh's will be closed by BT might be evidence of the near universal distribution of mobile telephones, but public telephones serve more than an immediate need. People do still use them, and not just for urination. Regardless of what you might think, there does come a time when for whatever reason the mobile can't make the call. Furthermore, they're nice to look at. When so much of what passes for "street furniture" looks as enduring in design as a pair of baggy culottes, each and every red phone box is a simple joy to behold.
Put your fangs awayTHE apparent decline in the Scottish bat population, and how difficult it might be to get people to care, tells you a lot about animal welfare. Having a reputation, ill-founded, for sucking blood is no good when it comes to arousing sympathy, any more than hanging upside down and only coming out at night. Scottish bats need to do themselves a favour and evolve some black and white cuddly markings. As pandas and penguins can tell you, the public love that sort of thing.
The full article contains 821 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
