Robert McNeil - Only eleven units a day? Make mine a double

WE ARE all alcoholics now. The number of teetotallers is thought to have dwindled to 17, and statistics show employers discriminate against them and they've few friends. Shame really. But that's progress, and there's no going back to the bad old days, when most families only got alcohol in at New Year.

Dean Martin said: "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day." He's dead now, of course. As are most people. But his uncompromising stance was a bracing breath of brandy-sc...