Joke of the day

A professional golfer was shipwrecked, and landed on a sandy tropical beach.

A lovely young woman came to him and told him he was on a paradise isle and asked if he would like a drink.

He asked for a brandy and she came back with a lovely cognac. She asked if he was hungry and brought him his favourite meal.

When he had finished she started to unbutton her top and said: "Would you like to play around?''

He said: "Don't tell me you've got a golf course here as well.''

Jim L, Davidson's Mains

• A photographer went to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost which was said to appear only once in a hundred years. He sat in the dark waiting. The ghost arrived and turned out to be friendly. It agreed to pose for one picture. The man took a picture and hurried to his studio, but when he looked at image it was underexposed. For you see, the spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.

Alan Roberts, Stockbridge

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