"MY lords, ladies and gentlemen . . ." You never hear the master of ceremonies announce "my earls, ladies and gentlemen . . ." do you? I had occasion to sup with a real, live earl the other day, you'll want to know, and I do invariably enjoy hob-nobbing with the gentry.
This specific earl and me, we flashed our military ties – his Royal Scots and my exclusively-designed Maddocks & Dick Royal Air Force.
I'm coffee-ing with the Earl of Airlie at the lunch hosted by Governor of the Castle Major General David McDowal
l, marking Prince Charles' 60th birthday and His Earlship is volunteering his credentials.
They'd be impressive on anybody's CV but perhaps too many been-there-done-that T- shirts in his wardrobe? Ten years a director of the Royal Bank until 1993, a former director of Scottish & Newcastle, ex-chairman of Schroders merchant bank, captain of the Royal Company of Archers, the Queen's bodyguard for Scotland.
He was inspecting officer at this 21-gun salute for Charles. Only yards away from the salvo, we were, thankfully, issued with ear defenders. Never such refinements for the poor sods on the Western Front.
Said the Earl: "It's been a full life, as they say, and I'm still living it at 82. I've come to the conclusion I know rather a little about quite a lot." An Airlie bird who caught a good few worms.
Ties with Cooke Doolally? Who, me? I'm watching an excellent BBC documentary about Alistair Cooke, doyen of the Corporation's correspondents for many a year, and wondering if I'd ever met him.
How COULDN'T I know whether or not I'd met the great man, who sent his last letter from America just months before he died at 95?
Proof enough, if you need it, that the old noddle's inclined to wander on occasion. We had indeed met, the occasion being the presentation of a club tie and honorary membership of the Edinburgh Press Club in Rutland Street.
"Gentlemen," said Cooke, "you're about to see something that's never been done before – a man taking off a Royal and Ancient Golf Club tie to put on a better one."
Not a word to anyone that your old hack could be losing it. Next thing, I'll have forgotten who got the seven goals and in what order.
The full article contains 394 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
