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Yes, the photograph does bear a striking resemblence to my old Physics teacher.
And here's me thought it was AMsquared!!!
The case centres around a chimp which has been left a lot of cash, and a woman who wants to help him spend it.Mrs Merton asks, 'What first attracted you to the moneybags chimp, Matthew?'
The manky hairy beasts are certainly NOT related to me, honey. I wouldn't monkey about with a chimp that behaves like my last bf and he was a bit of a gorilla!
Glorfindel(hugs and kisses XXX)
I protest the use of my graduation photo being used to promote the status of chimps. Mind you, I must say that I was a handsome brute in my day.
Forgive the awkwardness of my sentences; I'm jumping all over to see the election results. A monkey could do better.
The Headline does not make sense.
Boston Research, for about five years now, is doing incredible work training monkeys to help the disabled.I asked the scientist whether the monkeys were like wound-up kids and if they could be reliable.She answered yes, they are reliable.
They are finding that the monkeys are smart and able to help people more than dogs!!
Having spent most of my life in the third world, I can only say it will be a long time before all humans get the same consideration as chimps.
A primate is NOT a person. Indeed it may share various cells and similar characterisitcs, but person it is not.
Animal rights is one thing, but when we begin to offer human rights to beasts who have no understanding of the human experience then we enter into a world of dangerous consequences.
If the person in question wants to adopt an ape, then perhaps they should do so within the apes abode as opposed to their own abode. That way we can see for sure just how human they feel apes are following a month in a tree eating bananas and failing to go to work.
What class will the ape go to at school? Where will the ape work? Where will the ape go to the toilet? Where will the ape sit in the cinema and who will buy its popcorn? Where wil the ape get married to the human girl next door and who will be the best man?
Any person who suggests that apes should have human rights should be removed from society as a danger to human rights and our future progress. Their should be a jail term for people who attempt to undermine the human way of life,these people are a danger to our society, they are a bacteria eating away at the very foundations of our societies and lives and they cannot be permitted to get away with such actions.
I feel a petition should be drawn up around the world in which we demand the arrest and sentencing of any person who undermines our society, existence and overall human experience in this manner.
#9 I agree -- people don't get rights never mind the bloody monkeys (nice work if you can get it monkeys) -- "human rights" is like a construct & a fiction....By the way -- has anyone seen the brilliant cartoons of Steve Bell where Bush is always an ape? Of course Bush is a person too.
Looks like Tommy Sheridan!
They cna have the same rights as a human as long as they behave like them too. Such as, go to work, pay taxes, drive cars and buy me a beer in the pub!
#12 I reckon they could do all these things Dave!
Well having seen some of the numpties in action over the last few days, I care to believe you Yane!
No dear, chimps are ......... chimps. Some of these people should be certified.
#14 -- Aye, it's painful to read the posts on the Top Story thread about Alex cos nearly everyone is sad. All those bungled papers -- & saying the country is the laughing stock -- of course it isn't! The news we're getting here is that the SNP have done very well. I guess people expected a lot more.
Sorry -- guys I know this is off topic...I'm away...
Of course they are people. Look at outr world leaders. Bush, Bliar etc. I would have said Rice but maybe shes just a lemur
Human rights, no, animal rights, yes.
#18. Very good, honey. Where do you stand on Gay Rights?? Or sit?? Or lie down if that's what floats your boat??
Glorfindel(Huggs and kisses XXX)
Gay Animal Rights for Chimps?? Aw naw! That's too much for my poor wee brain!
Glorfindel you are a mischief maker allright...I'l make it brief...its 2007 and people are still being oppressed, harrassed and denied rights because of their sexual orientation.....disgusting....Sometimes you have to fight for your rights...or the rights of others...
What about the rights of others to believe that certain sexual orientations are wrong HC?
Don't get me wrong, just chucking in my tuppenceworth as sometimes you have to fight for the rights of others.
Is it April again???? Will they get social insurance numbers - welfare..... wonder if we'll see many primates seeking asylum in the UK - will they need passports???
They are perfectly capable of fighting for themselves on this one Dave...as you are well aware...they can believe what they like, its when they start lecturing the rest of us on how awful it is, particularly when it is their own 'brand' of god that dictates the truth...I take offence......look at them...all of the gods kicking about on the planet...same thing under another name except one is more evil than the other...boke, puke, heave...idolatory eh?....down on your knees worshipping a peeling plaster figure representing a lie that you bought, your parents bought ad infinitum...
I believe what I want...just as you do...we may never agree but hey thats what being human is all about....fundamentally flawed...
So effectively it's a stalemate then and they/we should agree to disagree.
They cannot tell you/them how awful it is and likewise we/them cannot tell them that they are wrong.
But what about gay chimps?!
I agree with a couple of the above posters, nah i don't mean the funny ones, rather the posts that point out we ought to be working to give all humans basic rights before we worry about chimps.
Oh they can, of course they can....and so can we.
Gay chimps have rights and I would be quite happy to help them fight for them...
10 (media1) get your facts right before spounting your ignorant supremacists garbage.
"A primate is NOT a person".
Depends - Humans are primates.
"That way we can see for sure just how human they feel apes are following a month in a tree eating bananas and failing to go to work".
Chimps are, like Humans, omnivores, and will happily pack hunt, kill and eat other animals. Healthier and less environmental impact than a McFatty Meal with Fries and Extra Lard.
"What class will the ape go to at school? Where will the ape work? Where will the ape go to the toilet? Where will the ape sit in the cinema and who will buy its popcorn? Where wil the ape get married to the human girl next door and who will be the best man?"
What on EARTH are you gobbing about? Giving chimps Human Rights means giving them the right to live THEIR life normally according to what THEY want.
"I feel a petition should be drawn up around the world in which we demand the arrest and sentencing of any person who undermines our society, existence and overall human experience in this manner."
This has been tried before and has been given a variety of different names: the Crusades, the Grand Inquisition, the Progroms, the Final Solution, Ethnic Cleansing. Which name name do YOU like to use?
Andy L
Some people do think animal rights should be extended to all animals and not just chimps,, after all one man married a goat in Sudan recently and even had a kid together. I think this also tackles the sexual orientaton issue as well.
All of you athiests that believe in evolution should be on the band wagon to get rights for chimps. Afterall, they are most likely our nearest living pre human ancestors. It would be wrong to not give our ancestoral lineage alive today at least basic human rights...wouldn't it? O.K. Darwinian athiests, argue against giving rights to chimps, your lineage ancestors. Personally, I believe in intelligent design and I respect all life as well. If chimps can be trained to help disabled humans, better than dogs, I say great and go to it. After all, they have opposing thumbs and can do virtually all chores humans do.
Well if those numpties who couldn't even jalouse how to fill out their ballot papers can be afforded human rights, surely chimps should be too. They seem to be a hell of a lot smarter, at least.
Yeah and they all voted for Cathy Jamieson
Yup, it's especially evident when they fling poo at one another.
<Chimps are people too, insists scientist>
WOW!!, evidently someone gave him a picture of Camilla.
#5--Scullion :)
Andy Loates #28: You are displaying signs of a person who is in need of serious mental assistance.
An ape is an ape. Its an animal and should NEVER EVER be recognised as a human. If there is humans who wish to live with apes, then perhaps they should do so and leave the rest of us sane humans to continue living in the real world.
SUPPORT MENTAL HEALTH OR I'L KILL YA !!
#33 Dox, good one!
Dave and HC, yep you definitely earned gold stars today! :)
JG, did you ever watch the film, Planet of the Apes with Charlton Heston??!! Hmmm, why did that come to mind just now??!! :)
1. ConanI initially though Robert Mugabe
What school did Dr Martin Balluch graduate from? It should be closed for allowing someone so stupid to receive a degree.
Life is now imitating Sergeant Bilko. We're doomed I tell you.
HOME RULE FOR CHIMPANIA!!!!
Where is it by the way????
If chimps were given rights and did take over the planet they couldn't do a worse job of it that we have!!!
they can be taught how to vote also.
The other great apes deserve special protection. As noted,chimps are so related to us,though in the same family,not genus.They should have the status of a four year old person.So their voting is out of the question.It is not a matter of the all or nothing fallacy here.There are degrees of personhood as we accept with igvng youngsters the right to vote but not to pre-eighteen year olds.Even Mary Jo can fathom that! Please support the Great Ape Project!
Following a naturalistic world-view, without regard to it's veracity, to a logical conclusion. However, be careful about giving care equivalent to that reserved for the disabled or comatose. Given Terri Schiavo's treatment, this could bring about the extinction of the great apes.
Dave from Barra :"....given rights as a human as long as they behave like them too. Such as, go to work, pay taxes..."
Well if they're the criteria, the half of the country that's on the dole have just lost their human rights!
I see Media1 is still spewing out his loathing of all living things...using the same argument against chimps' rights that his racist chums always used against negroes' rights. Now THERE is one scary primate!
Really all I was after nell fae Falkirk was a free pint fae a monkey instead of being made a monkey of at the bar!
Here what you were saying though, funny!!
Actuall, given that they could be given parity with humans, does that mean they can marry or engage in a civil partnership? Given that, how do we know that they are expressing love or even agreed to marrage?
Holes can be picked in this, after all, we spent a long time to rise above being a primate, if they are given parity, then we could revert back and still have all the rights we EARNED as sophisticated sentient beings.
Since when is the chimp named "Matthew"? I've been following this story for a while and up until this article, it's been named "Hiasl." (one example: http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/05/04/austria.chimp....)
Also, that woman sounds a lot more like she's looking for a child than a money-bag chimp. Either way she needs some help.
And they call it monkey love...........
Dave, good one!
this lady may get guardianship, but then watch the chimp 'sign' to everyone that he wants to become an emanicipated minor!
#55 Wini,
hmm maybe, but won't people think you're a little bananas?!
The question here should be: WHAT ABOUT ROSIE?Why is Matthew so important that he has to be separated from the only friend and companion he has had for all of his life? Because he has money that needs a human to help spend it?
I have no problem w. a chimp becoming a legal human; especially in view of some of the people I know who have "human status." When considering the scientific evidence, I think they are!
Besides, Cheeta just turned 75 years old, and was denied a star on the Hollywood walk of fame a few years back. May be there will no longer be an excuse, now!
Why demote the poor chimp by designating it as human? If Media 1 is an example of humanity, the chimp's status is unquestionably higher in the eyes of Gaia. ;-)
Bet is wouldn't be daft enough to vote NuLabourLite either!
Lanna, #54, that was funny!
Why are basic rights always referred to as 'human' rights? What is wrong with allowing chimpanzees to live decent lives (this has nothing to do with driving cars or paying taxes, but with being abducted from habitats and families, tortured, imprisoned and treated as property... )? Why so much fear of allowing other animals to live decent lives too ("if we start, where would we stop?")? It IS possible to strive for the decent treatment of humans and chimpanzees simultaneously. One does not necessarily cancel out the other. As someone (Mark Twain possibly?) said, a society's treatment of animals is a pretty reliable indication of their respect for human life... or something along those lines.
#64 Friend-at-large
:)
65 "He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals."-- Immanuel Kant
Mark Twain was a great author and lover of animals and a feirce defender of their rights though, so it's not surprising that they are confused at times.
Well, I totally agree with Ms Stibbe's decision.... Even people wants to become local guardians for dogs cats so why for a chimp.. a big Issue.. I wish Matthews ans Stibbs good luck.
i share genes with trees, does that make me green?
the rights that as usually suggested for great apes are not the same as 'human rights' which they are usually misinterpreted for being. The tree most common suggested rights for apes are 1, the right to life 2, the protection of individual liberty and 3, the prohibition of torture.human rights are now applied to children and mentally handicapped people, even though they may not be able to for fill the responsibilities that come with these rights.Those given rights has increased greatly in the last few hundred years, from just rich men to to all men, women and children and than people of other races. it is even extended by the Geneva convention to enemy combatants.allowing apes some rights is just a continuation of this.
Ape and other monkeys can be tried to help disabled people better than dogs however primates do not make good pets because unlike dog they have never been domesticated and when the reach adolescence they become almost uncontrollable. ohh and cats have been every helpful to humans by keeping down populations of rats and mice they have enabled us to store more food and increase our dominance over other life.We do provide animals one right which we do not provide to ourselves (in the uk atleast) and that is the right of euthanasia.
