FOR a town of only 64,000 people, Cumbernauld has suffered more than its fair share of put-downs. Twice a winner of a Carbuncle Award (for the bleakest place in Scotland), the town centre has been variously called "a rabbit warren on stilts", "the Lego fantasy of an unhappy child" and the "Kabul of the north". Yesterday, it got worse.
On a day that should have been a cause for celebration, the Princess Royal became the latest to put the boot in. In a statement more fitted to her gaffe-prone father, the Duke of Edinburgh, she told local dignitaries she would be leaving Cumbernauld
"as soon as possible".
The princess was there to perform the official opening of its new £40 million shopping centre, part of a plan for the revival of Cumbernauld. The Antonine Centre has more than 40 shops and is expected to create 600 jobs for local people.
Officially, it was just another Royal opening on the 50th anniversary of Cumbernauld becoming a new town, but there was a sense of homecoming surrounding the princess's visit, given her mother and aunt had toured the beleaguered Dunbartonshire community before her.
As far as the standards of royal trips go, it was something of a rum deal. Even a cursory persual of the monarchy's diary shows that in the weeks to come, the Earl of Wessex will visit Cologne, while the Duke of York will take in Singapore and Malaysia.
The princess though, seemed determined to see it through. Arriving at 1:30pm in the car park of Tesco Extra to an anaemic cheer from a modest crowd, her first port of call on entering the building - the construction of which involved 1,800 tonnes of steel, 50,000 mall tiles, and an infinite number of architectural jokes - was Thorntons. Walking past bargain emporiums of TK Maxx, Priceless Shoes and Claire's Accessories, she stopped to look at a photograph of her late aunt, Princess Margaret, who opened the first phase of Cumbernauld's town centre 40 years ago.
She spoke to a representative of AG Barr, which makes Irn-Bru in the town. Speaking of her disapproval about how popular it is among schoolchildren, she asked the representative: "Can you be sure someone invented that drink? Wasn't it just a nasty surprise?"
Most of the small public crowd took pictures or filmed the event with their mobile phones, but few seemed genuinely enthralled. Hattie Brown, a retired home help, pointed to a half-price casserole dish in her shopping bag as the highlight of her day, and said: "I'm not a big fan of the monarchy. I don't think many people are, they're here at the shops anyway. Folk are just curious to see what she's like."
Others were delighted to be graced by royalty. Sarah Johnson, 57, who lives close to the centre, said: "What a nice surprise. I came to go shopping and I didn't know she was coming."
On the first floor of the Antonine, which opened last month, another line of local businesspeople awaited the princess, standing under the historic St Enoch's clock which featured in the film Gregory's Girl, and was restarted by the Queen in 1977.
As she continued on her tour, the princess was asked the question of the day by councillor Bob Chada. One of a number of people aggrieved by parking restrictions at the Antonine, he is campaigning against the policy which means anyone who has their car parked for more than three hours is fined £60.
He told the princess as much, but later relayed her abrupt reply to The Scotsman. "I don't think she'll have to pay," he said. "She told me she was planning to get on a flight to London as soon as possible."
True to her word, barely an hour after setting foot in the Antonine Centre, she had gone.
RACE ROW AT GOLF DINNERA MEMBER of the Royal and Ancient Golf Club's rules committee apologised yesterday for telling racist jokes at a dinner.
Graham Brown, originally from Edinburgh and a past captain of Royal Liverpool, used the racially offensive term "nips" when referring to the Japanese, and made demeaning remarks about African Americans. Four people from Japan were in the audience.
The Association of Golf Writers' dinner at Carnoustie on Tuesday was attended by leading golfers, administrators and manufacturers, as well as by golf journalists. Among those present were Geoff Ogilvy, the 2006 US Open champion, and players Padraig Harrington and Sam Torrance.
A number of people complained, and Mr Brown apologised after a meeting with Martin Kippax, the chairman of the championship committee. Mr Kippax said: "It was a mistake... but I don't think it makes him incapable of being a member of our rules committee. He apologises unreservedly."
Mr Brown could not be contacted for comment last night.
