IS neighbour rage on the increase? Edinburgh Community Mediation Service has worked for 14 years with neighbours in dispute and we have seen thousands of sad, indeed heart-broken, neighbours, disappointed neighbours and furious neighbours.
All of us like to feel that our homes are respected and a neighbour who is not sensitive or who somehow breaks written or unwritten rules is a challenge, to say the least. With the stresses of modern life, especially in a large urban centre, sometim
es people just snap and exhibit rage. When people are fed up, they can approach the neighbour with angry words and everyone gets defensive and angry. There are even cases of murders over parking or over leylandii.
I always hesitate, though, before saying that rage is on the increase. People do get help these days in ways that weren't always available in the past. For example, Edinburgh's Night Noise Team will come at any time to assess a noisy situation and has the powers to intervene successfully.
Neighbour Mediation can be exactly what is needed to address rage. People are helped to meet with the people with whom they have had difficulties. It does take a lot of courage to come to a meeting, but the people who take this opportunity can ask the neighbour why they did a certain action and explain how it made them feel. They can also plan together how to avoid a recurrence or what to do in future if other problems arise. Apologies are often exchanged and agreements made.
Rage also occurs if you think people don't care. So often in mediation, the neighbours hear new or "other" information which makes all the difference. People might learn that the neighbour has tried to make less noise or didn't know their children were throwing litter over the fence. Sometimes people plan together to get information or help about issues, such as sound-proofing.
Consider mediation! It does help with neighbour rage.
Christine Schoeck is team leader with the Edinburgh Community Mediation Service, 0131-557 2101, info@edincm.sacro.org.uk 