Scots, eh? Here's tae us. Wha's like us. Damn few and there a' pissed.
Or at least that's what it must seem like to all those who have seen the by now famous
Edinburgh fight video.
For the seven people on the planet who have not watched this (an
d I understand it has even entered the protomythology of some of the more advanced bonobo groupings in the Democratic Republic of Congo), it features an assorted bunch of inebriated youngsters leathering the hell out of each other in Edinburgh's historic Fleshmarket Close.
This situationist installation immediately grabs one with its insightful commentary on modern consumerism ("You're clever, man, you're getting the chippy") and deconstructionist approach to traffic signage.
The footage (filmed by a brave or foolish tourist) has particular resonance for me as the fight takes place outside the Jinglin' Geordie, the old haunt of Scotsman hacks when the paper was in its home on North Bridge. Not that journalists ever got involved in such drunken antics, oh dear me no, missus.
I don’t know what sparked the ruckus outside the Jingler but perhaps it was revenge. Revenge was certainly behind the sudden rise to fame of a man called Amir.
If you haven't heard of him you will, thanks to the sudden popularity of the
"broken laptop I sold on eBay" blog. The blog's creator claims he was sold a duff PC by a chap called Amir, who then supposedly refused to give a refund. As revenge, "laptop guy" then extracted lots of personal information the vendor had left on the machine. "Laptop guy" then posted an extensive selection of this on the blog, using an engaging confessional, first-person style as if it was written by Amir himself:
He took the hard disk out and behold! one laptop crammed with pictures that I really should have deleted before trying to sell it! There was lots and lots (and lots and lots and lots) of pornography; Some foot fetish porn; Some gay porn (edited for decency, there was worse than this) … many, many (90 to be exact) pictures of woman's legs that I took on the train with my camera phone ... The buyer of my laptop was understandably miffed at being ripped off but highly amused at finding this wide selection of information so easily accessible. What else could he do but publish this information on the internet for the whole world to see what a sad man I really am!The above list is (tastefully) illustrated with censored samples. "Laptop guy" also offers extensive clippings from Amir's CV.
Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh deary me. A cruel, cruel blow.
I don't know if any of this is legit (this is the web: Amir and "laptop guy" may not exist, may be lying or may be the same person) but it is very, very funny and "laptop guy" offers this idiom to sum up the situation:
To 'do an Amir'To con money out of someone, lie or be otherwise dishonest, only to face ritual humiliation on a worldwide scale. Chuckling to myself, I thanked God that I've never done anything to provoke such heinous revenge.
And then I stumbled on
this video about environmental devastation on YouTube. Like a bucket of cold mud in face, I suddenly realised that future generations might seek revenge against those of us who could have changed things at the tipping point of our planet's climate. But, hey, they'll be too busy fighting wars over drinking water to worry about us…
Then I saw
this UK government advert designed to get us interested in climate change. That's when I got scared. If our politicians have raised their snouts from prudence and "economic realities" to be concerned about this stuff then we should be terrified.
