TELL me, have you found Jesus, I asked of David Ramsden? The crucifix, enhanced by a flickering candle, above the mantelpiece of his new restaurant (A) More Dogs, prompted the question.
A personal but, I thought, justifiable query. Elsewhere on the Hangover Street premises, a by no means in-your-face statue of Christ but, at the door, an unmissable painting of an angel.
"You couldn't say I've belatedly discovered the good Lord, "
Ramsden responded. "I'm not a Catholic, as it happens, but I think there's a great deal to be learned from the Catholic iconography and the importance Catholicism puts on the family."
Presumably, then, a good Christian and like me, not the sort to utter a bad word about anybody. Even about some restaurant critic who'd rile him with a ropey review.
"If you put your head up, if you court the media as I do, you can't complain," Ramsden reasoned.
His mouth hushed accordingly, he shook his head in despair when I recoiled from his suggestion of ox cheek and settled instead for a so-succulent pork chop.
(A) More Dogs, his recent Italian-style extention of the next-door prototype Dogs, is simmering like a winner, doubtless with the Lord's blessing.
The Poncified Prince? Every time you see him, the beefier he gets. Too much lugubrious living. Reference Airmiles Andy, of course.
For his latest bare-faced outrage, he had taxpayers stump up £60K for a private jet to see his stinking-rich pal in Azerbaijan.
Business or pleasure? Don't ask a silly question. The effrontery of the man. Junkets his speciality.
You took my advice and voted SNP for Europe. Smart move. The only way. Right now, in exasperation, I'd vote for anybody except Labour. Even for Mugabe (second thoughts, no I wouldn't).
Nobody in their right mind would vote Labour, the bad news mob who have landed us in the fertiliser.
