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MSPs demand to run Holyrood elections

Transfer of power from Westminster would prevent repeat of 2007 chaos, claims Salmond

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Published Date: 06 January 2008
MSPs are calling for reforms to allow Scottish Ministers to run future Holyrood elections, claiming it will prevent the chaos of last year's vote.
SNP, Conservative and LibDem MSPs are all expected to support the transfer of powers in a debate to be held at the Parliament this week.

If the move went ahead, the rules governing the elections of MSPs would be controlled by the Scottish Governme
nt and not Westminster.

However, Labour chiefs claim the plan is "rushed" and are insisting further lessons be learnt about last year's fiasco before any decision is made.

In unprecedented scenes last May, more than 100,000 ballot papers were spoiled mostly because confused voters found the arrangements too complex.

As well as holding the Holyrood elections and local government elections on the same day, the Government altered the ballot paper so that both Holyrood votes were contained on the same sheet of paper.

In a report last year, Canadian election expert Ron Gould said sweeping changes were required. He said the current system – where Edinburgh runs the local government election, and London runs the Holyrood vote – should be ended, with one body given control. He said the Scottish Government would be "the logical entity".

First Minister Alex Salmond has seized on that recommendation and will now argue for immediate transfer of powers so that his administration is in charge of the next poll in 2011.

A Scottish Government source said: "We expect the debate to focus on the need to transfer responsibility for running the Scottish Parliament elections from Westminster to Holyrood, in order to ensure their future smooth operation. Given that this was the first recommendation of the Gould Report, we believe that it should be possible to achieve parliamentary support for this commonsense reform."

Both the Tories and the LibDems are understood to support the moves. Along with support from the Greens, this would ensure that the SNP plan is supported. However, Labour figures last night said the Government was being too hasty in demanding change.

Westminster ministers are currently consulting local authorities on the detail of any proposed changes for 2011.

A Scotland Office source said: "The objective we have is to restore public confidence. It is premature to rush into this move. The Gould report made a number of recommendations and it is noticeable that the SNP government have picked out the only one that is to do with the constitution."

The impasse may lead to another cross-Border row, as the SNP will be sure to press their case for immediate change.

First Minister Alex Salmond has already written to Gordon Brown expressing his "disappointment" that Scottish Secretary Des Browne has not yet accepted a transfer of powers. Salmond told MSPs last year that the situation whereby Westminster ran the Holyrood election was "absurd".

However, Browne insists he wants to study the evidencebefore making any changes.

Scottish Labour MSP Andy Kerr said: "We are happy to consider all of the recommendations made by Mr Gould but that we should allow the Parliament and its committees to examine the matter fully and make subsequent recommendations."

Former Scottish Secretary Douglas Alexander has backed one recommendation by Gould, to appoint an elections tsar in Scotland, who would administer the election.



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1

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06/01/2008 00:03:16
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mesmiths,

fife 06/01/2008 00:24:30
Honestly. It seems to me there is a party that finds itself addicted to saying no to Scotland- what ever the issue and however isolated it makes them.
NO, NO, NO.
Who gives a monkey what the labour party thinks these days. Come on you editors get a grip.
3

Ayrshire Scot™ ,

06/01/2008 00:29:02
3 Wardog

election debacle? Wait till the SNP and their hug a Muslim, soft on terror policies take hold. We will be lucky to have elections you muppet
4

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06/01/2008 00:31:33
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Ayrshire Scot™ ,

06/01/2008 00:36:45
5 No, it was Alex Hug A Muslim Salmond who messed it up, just as he will mess up Scotland with his terrorist friendly polices he and MacCaskill are following.
6

BK,

Cyberspace 06/01/2008 00:37:03
Well Westminster's incompetence in this matter has been proved beyond all doubt. Holyrood could not possibly do any worse, unless of course they gave the job to the wee sister of the man who bungled it last time.
7

Ayrshire Scot™ ,

06/01/2008 00:42:32
7. Scots couldn't organise an election for themselves. Westminster still controls the accounting for the parliament via the block grant. God, imagine the SNP in charge of an election - will be like Afghanistan!
8

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06/01/2008 00:45:14
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06/01/2008 00:51:47
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Merouane,

Edinburgh 06/01/2008 00:52:34
Another case of the Lib Dems and Tories provoking a "fight" with Westminster?
11

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06/01/2008 01:24:47
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an offended scot,

glasgow 06/01/2008 01:24:59
Dear Ayrshire Scot
Your comments re hug a Moslems are deeply offensive. Not all Moslems are terrorists.
I have passed your details to the central Mosque for consideration.
Doubtless they will be in touch you deeply deranged person
13

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06/01/2008 01:28:34
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06/01/2008 01:30:38
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06/01/2008 01:32:09
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06/01/2008 01:33:30
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Yok Finney,

Ross-shire 06/01/2008 03:13:15
-- We don't want a Tzar.

Of course you do. Ascending to the responsiblities of Tzar James the Great of All Scotia reaching to the furthest Antipodies I would immediately commission a huge high edifice in East Lothian overlooking Denmark, Moscow and Lanarkshire to oversee the Scottish Navy and fisheries protection fleet and all useful and provident works.

What about the plight of the scottish hill farmer? And too many sheep? Rest interested. While toiling as a freelance loon in the shipyards of Tasmania, we also thought out plans to restore silviculture, agriculture and manufactures to this benighted land of ecological strip-mining.
18

Guga II,

Rockall 06/01/2008 04:19:07
In any democracy, the country having an election would run it's own election. It would not be run by a foreign power. The fact that the New Labour Sleaze and Corruption Party (Scottish Branch), as well as its HQ in London, want to maintain control over the running of the Scottish elections, merely serves to illustrate the point that they want to keep Scotland as a colony, under imperialist control from London.

Keeping control over the Scottish elections is probably also seen by New Labour as a way to try and fix the results to their own advantage. They tried that the last time, but with The Mouth of the South's little brother handling things for them, it didn't work out too well for them.

The sooner we are free from the yoke of English imperialism, the better. We need independence now.

Saor Alba.
19

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06/01/2008 04:55:00
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Ross Fyffe,

06/01/2008 05:29:45
they better while they can or ................. http://news.scotsman.com/latest-national-news/UK-39Islamists-creating-nogo-areas39.3644639.jp
21

James,

Dundee 06/01/2008 06:27:51
Scottish Labour MSP Andy Kerr said: "We are happy to consider all of the recommendations made by Mr Gould but that we should allow the Parliament and its committees to examine the matter fully and make subsequent recommendations."

Translayed means 'We are happy for this to be kicked into the long grass, to allow HQ in London time to get round to discussing what is after all a regional issue.
The Labour Party in Scotland is content to wait on Des and Dougie as we prefer them to call the shots on this one'.

No comment from Wendy or Jakki The Hut?


The anti-democratic Labour Party really are a scabrous lot!
22

donald,

glasgow 06/01/2008 06:39:22
How long does Labour need to realise that they are useless?
23

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06/01/2008 07:38:05
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BIG EYE,

Paisley 06/01/2008 07:53:56
Labour are clearly hoping to delay this until another Labour government is elected in Scotland.

We could be waiting for this to be transferred forever!
25

ex katman 2,

x sudan 06/01/2008 08:47:55
#26
So,who gives a damn.
26

morris,

edinburgh 06/01/2008 09:24:45
1

You usually make stupid comments but that one is outstanding !

The draw was held at Holyrood IT WAS NOT ORGANISED BY THEM .
27

morris,

edinburgh 06/01/2008 09:29:43
30 Then you can have no legitimate objection then ,
28

morris,

edinburgh 06/01/2008 09:42:43
28

Logical it undoubtedly is,but Westminster see control over elections and gerrymandering results as a critical part of their strategy, which is basically WHO CARES HOW WE WIN as long as we win!

They are basically unwilling to surrender power to anybody anything for any purpose, and devolution was always an exercise in power retained ,rather than devolved. It took the 100 years ,and a threat of independence to get this far after all!So much for Labours commitment to home rule.
The secret of putting things in your manifesto is DON'T DELIVER (or at least anything which actually works)so you can still include it and retain votes.
The distribution of wealth is the same .The Labour Party will never help poor people because to take them out of the poverty trap is to remove them from the potential Labour party faithful.
The gap bewteen rich and poor has actually widened under Labour.

The choice facing Scotland is a party who will reward people for being rich, a party who will punish people for being poor, and independence.

Which is which of the first two you might ask.They are basically the same thing in a way! Which indeed!
29

Mikey,

06/01/2008 10:02:37
I see the same old NuLab Thatcherites on again this morning, arguing about who is in charge of the corpse. Never do they miss a chance to do Scotland down. I wonder why they bother living here (if they do.)

The choice is simple at the next election. Do we want our country to be prosperous and free or do we want it to be run by Thatcher's children in London with the connivance of their psuedo Scottish lapdogs.

You will all notice, of course, that they have nothing to offer. They even steal names! Their only mantra is, 'it should be run by England!' In wartime, they would be put against a wall! I have never yet heard one of these unionist contributors put forward a case for retaining the union. All they seem to be capable of is running Scotland down and personal abuse.

It's time to say goodbye to these people and build up our country. The past is history. Long live the future. A free future!!!
30

mr chips,

06/01/2008 10:02:47
A Jackie Baillie film has just started on stv.
31

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06/01/2008 10:23:04
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Saul Tyre,

Germany 06/01/2008 10:33:38
It is perfectly normal for Westminser to run the Holyrood elections. I mean, the Germans run the Danish elections and the French run the Spanish elections.

Don't they?
33

walter,

06/01/2008 10:34:51
I see the groupthink are once again insinuating that the UK parliament is a foreign power, the UK government is a foreign government and that unionists are not Scottish and if they don't agree with them they are anti Scottish.
Funny how just the other day they were defending the great leader being a member of the UK parliament yet today they call that same parliament foreign.
34

Very Rev Ian Paisley,

Why do 06/01/2008 10:35:28
we allow Scotland, one of three countries not granted their independence and the ability to compete via tax mechanisms after the decolonisation act, elections anyhow?






35

watcher4,

Edinburgh 06/01/2008 11:06:50
That will mean inventing but yet another Quango. The very party that was going to cut them in half. Stick to drawing cup games, at least you can only get better at that.
36

barbour,

Northumberland 06/01/2008 11:07:17
I agree that the election format was not of the best whom ever devised it,but how can one devise a system that will allow the slow witted amongst you and there were plenty (many thousands)to put an X or some other mark against their choice.At least you gave a laugh to the rest of the world and underlined the expression -"Scotland a wee chippy tribe of malcontents"
37

subrosa,

06/01/2008 11:08:05
This is serious stuff. We need to take control of our own elections and we must win this fight. Time for taking the gloves off.
38

Richardinho,

06/01/2008 11:43:22
Nothing like an issue of this kind to bring out all the self-loathing out of the unionists! (see post#1 just for starters!)
Always good for a sunday laugh.

More seriously, it's good that the Tories and the Libs are prepared to join forces with the SNP government to bring this change about. It shows that they are serious about running Scotland.
39

Harris tweed and levi's 501,

Edinburgh 06/01/2008 11:55:54
#42 from Northumberland writes;-

I agree that the election format was not of the best whom ever devised it,but how can one devise a system that will allow the slow witted amongst you and there were plenty (many thousands)to put an X or some other mark against their choice.At least you gave a laugh to the rest of the world and underlined the expression -"Scotland a wee chippy tribe of malcontents"


An agent provocacateur no doubt.

Remind us again, which area of England elected a war criminal as their MP?
40

kimba,

06/01/2008 12:10:45
Have to agree with Ayrshirescot on this one @1,apart from anything else Scotland is still part of the UK,as of such westminster will decide.
41

kimba,

06/01/2008 12:17:46
41. Ayrshire has been a staunch supporter of Scotland, but not of trolls like some of the msps,who talk a load of drival!
42

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 12:18:28
46 Kimba

your agreement is all that is needed to highlight the mental health of my fakey for all to see. Many thanks

PS - hope you had a nice time in ABerfoyle

26 Fakey - are you have some kind of breakdown?
43

kimba,

06/01/2008 12:25:22
48.well fcuk you, ungrateful s-d, fakey or not,you are one arrogant son of a b--ch;tried to support you,will not bother again!
44

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 12:26:43
"A Scotland Office source said: "The objective we have is to restore public confidence. It is premature to rush into this move"

Labour's embrace of further devolution is awe inspiring. Just as it was on airguns and police administration. If the London bosses don't start making some encourging noises people might think Labour's constitutional commission is just a pathetic attempt at political self protection and not really a reflection of genuine interest in further Scottish control.

When is Labour's new Sectretary General in Scotland being appointed (by the London NEC) anyway?
45

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 12:27:55
49 Kimba

was only joking. I was touched by your support, the little bit I understood of it. I do hope Aberfoyle was nice and you had a good time.

Ayrshire sends you a wee kiss.
46

kimba,

06/01/2008 12:28:46
50. NEVER, if they have any sense!
47

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06/01/2008 12:33:48
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kimba,

06/01/2008 12:34:23
51,Ayrshire hurt kimba's feelings,thanks for the wee kiss;aberfoyle was great apart from this guy from the forrestry commision who rambled on and on about the "MUSHROOM FESTIVAL"
49

Enigma,

06/01/2008 12:41:20
Most English people wish you well in your elections and if you want independence that`s your business, but please, some of you at least, stop blaming `Ingerlund` or `English imperialists` every time something goes wrong. We have evenless say in the status-quo than Scotland.

UK, run from Westminster, maybe. Run by the English as a means of constraining Scots? Rubbish.
50

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 12:41:31
53 Perhaps by counting the votes cast, not making partisan decisions re ballot papers and exercising some diligence in selection of contractors and administrative procedures for the elections, thus differentiating the conduct of future elections from the partisan incompetent shambles that Nu Labour visited upon Scottish democracy?

54 - Mushroom Festival? mmm, was it Galactic Cannibal selling shrooms?
51

Richardinho,

06/01/2008 12:42:32
#53

People generally run things best when they are held responsible for them.

Westminster doesn't have any particular motivation for running the Scottish parliamentary elections well-

1. because if things go wrong, they aren't going to attract any significant flack.

2. They want to manipulate the election for their own gain.

If Holyrood is put in charge of it's own elections, it will be in it's interests to run them properly.
Since we have proportional representation, it's unlikely that any one party will be in the position to be able to manipulate the holding of the election for it's own gain.
52

kimba,

06/01/2008 12:49:20
55.How right you are,westminster maybe in England but the English have no say in it's operation!
53

Pilrig,

Livingston 06/01/2008 12:50:16
4 - "We're doomed ! Doomed, ah tell ye !"
54

Pilrig,

Livingston 06/01/2008 12:50:17
4 - "We're doomed ! Doomed, ah tell ye !"
55

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 12:52:20
60. The sky just fell on my head here because I just had a sneaky thought about independence. I should have listened to those Labour blights.
56

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06/01/2008 12:57:40
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James,

Dundee 06/01/2008 13:01:39
Hidden from the Johnson Press

http://www.sundayherald.com/news/heraldnews/display.var.1945352.0.alexander_queried_donation_after_sending_thankyou_note.php
58

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 13:08:39
62 Ciderman

I am merely quoting the independent report by Ron Gould, who said decisions were made in a partisan manner, and that thge conduct was a shambles.

Indeed, given Labour have recently lost half the countries bank details, invested £60bn in Northern Rock, got us embroiled in Iraq, had their Scottish leader admit criminal fund raising sleaze, had their London leaders admit criminal fund raising sleaze, had 3 spin doctors and the General Secretary in Scotland resign bevause they can't work with Wendy, I never contended that Labour were competent at anything, even partisan election shambles.
59

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 13:09:44
62 PS Cider Pete

if Salmond is "oily" what is Jackie Baillie? A partially renewable energy source of global significance?
60

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 13:12:59
62 Cider Pete

PPS. Happy New Year. Found those WMD yet? Hands up if you believe Brown on anything.....
61

Carlung,

Haddington 06/01/2008 13:14:51
"Sunday Times Scotland" has it that Wendy has been cleared of any wrong doing!!
62

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06/01/2008 13:41:17
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 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 13:52:16
68 Cider Pete

a nerve? Oh Cider Pete you do amuse... So having lost half the countries bank details, misplaced the WMD in Iraq and being under criminal investigation (yet again) you believe in Gordon. How touching. I much prefer Alex Salmond who is putting Scotland's interests first and has been leading the government in Scotland with dynamism and competence.
64

jkr,

Lochwinnoch Greater Glasgow. 06/01/2008 13:52:32
Of course Holyrood should run these elections. However the Labour Party will not allow it. They want to keep as much control as they can through Westminster now that Labour has lost power up here.
When devolution was set up, the UK Labour Government thought that there would always be a Labour majority in Holyrood that would do as it was told. Thank goodness those days are over.
65

Richardinho,

06/01/2008 14:03:03
Holyrood should run these elections because if things go wrong we should know who to blame for it. That's how you run things in a mature democracy.
66

HEN BROON 5,

ALBA GU BRATH 06/01/2008 14:08:12
This Ayrshire Scot™ , is a clone troll, and is in fact the sad pathetic AM2 who is also the troll English Voice. How awful and pathetic is that.To try and cover the fact that his sad lonely life is this forum he has to shape shift and then of course vehemently deny it. For Gods sake he was on here on Christmas day challenging nats to a game of football in no mans land. He was also on New Years morning, after The Bells. Enough said.

It is a compliment to the original Ayrshire Scot™,the difference being the double space to the comma , in the clone. But it is a compliment and a recognition of the originals talents and how he fillets AM2 with skill humour and razor sharp wit. Mind you dissecting and filleting an Ulster Unionist Fanatic is not difficult but to do it with such style and panache is a special talent.

My contribution form now on will to be to try and persuade users to BOYCOTT AM2 AND ALL HIS CLONES ,AS HE IS SPOILING THIS FORUM.Which is his objective. Notice how much better The Herald is as he does not enjoy the same editorial sanction on there.

67

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 14:09:58
73 Wardog. Indeed, I am finding these Labour blights hard to follow. On one hand, they say they want further devolution and a grand confabulation/ unionist jamboree on such. Yet on the other hand they refuse to hand over election administration, despite it being the first recommendation of the Gould report they promised to accept. What is their logic?
68

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 14:10:40
74 Hi Hen. I am me, extra space weird fakey is further up.
69

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 14:20:24
77 Four surely?
70

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 14:22:53
79 Wardog

yes, Labour look like the same control freaks that people tired of and booted out in May 2007. They still have not learned the lessons from their defeat it seems with their arrogant refusal on election administration, similar to airguns and police admin. They cannot be taken seriously on their devolution commission while acting in this fashion.
71

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 14:26:27
82 or a 100% success rate for SNP first ministers....
72

kimba,

06/01/2008 14:34:39
83,Ayrshire. This Labour government will do ANYTHING to stop England from having her own parliament, so what chance does Scotland have of being able to run her own elections!
73

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 14:40:42
86 That would be up to the electorate but based on the dynamic start I would say so. Of course I'd prefer a rapid transition of that office to a Scottsih prime Minister of a fully sovereign country.
74

Enigma,

06/01/2008 16:03:10
85

Not just Labour, the whole political establishment.
75

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06/01/2008 16:03:15
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,

06/01/2008 16:03:50
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77

kimba,

06/01/2008 16:05:42
This is all a load of twosh.England needs a parliament the same as Scotland with the same rights,but within the UK,IT'S THAT SIMPLE.
78

kimba,

06/01/2008 16:07:45
89,your not wrong.
79

Pro United Kingdom,

Scotland 06/01/2008 16:28:39
The SNP/Tartan Tories, make empty promises to get elected and then try to fool us all, by blaming England.

All politcal parties have budgets, prior to May 2007 Labour told the people of Scotland that the SNP's sums did not add up.

The list of failure grows each day....

Class room teachers an extra 4,000 to reduce class sizes - failed
Police Officers on the beat, extra 1,000 - failed
New Tartan Poll tax - failed, we don't want it !
Student debt - fail

Vote - No confidence in the SNP

Plus for the SNP - Alex Salmond on 2 wages at around £200K and wants to be called Prime Minister of Scotland LOL - what a complete waste of time and money.
80

kimba,

06/01/2008 16:47:25
94,pro united kingdom. It's nice to have a fellow UK supporter on this thread,BUT,we need a English parliament,or England will struggle to compete.
81

HEN BROON 5,

ALBA GU BRATH 06/01/2008 16:48:58
The problem Unionist have is that they would love us all to believe that they are proud to be Scottish and that they are are genuine in that. They are anti-Scottish self haters, cringing there way through life, for ever on their knees, imploring their masters not to reject them. Taking all the abuse and laughing at the very idea of a Scottish nation. Suplicants and lickspittles, every one.

However it has all gone wrong for them as papers like the Sunday Herald, and the work done by the SNP using the Freedom Of Information Act have uncovered the truth and shone light into some very dark places that the Unionist clowns tried to hide.

We can all see now, Unionist and Non Unionists alike just how The Great Deception has pulled the wool over the eyes of Scots all these years, cheating and conning all of us. The road to independence is now wide and open, the target was never so clear.
But what will happen to the poor deluded die hard Unionists. To say that the SNP were, and are right would mean they would have to admit they have been conned by their masters all this time. They have to find a way of saving face.

Wendy and her Chinese carry out gang thought they had it sussed, but it all went pear shaped when the funding row broke over their lying heads. And Wendy could end up in Cortonvale.

The three main opposition parties are trying so hard to move to the "more powers," position, but are being hamstrung by London and their failure to find the courage.

By the time they find their moral fibre the SNP will have put so much water between them and the spineless ones that it will all be over. So we will have to see the emergence of new Scottish parties as the Unionists are laughed out of town.

There is now fear and terror running through the Rule Britannia bootlickers ranks, but alas has found no spine to run up.

The news that more and more ex pat Scots are returning to their native land, and maintaining the boyancy in the economy through housing is supe
82

HEN BROON 5,

ALBA GU BRATH. 06/01/2008 16:52:48
Can anyone spot the AM troll, poor sad barsteward thinks he is hiding. Your classic aparatchick desperate prose cannot be hidden. You sad moron.
83

HEN BROON 5,

06/01/2008 16:55:25
Continued from #95:


is superb, what a great time to be alive, what a great time to be in Scotland. God bless Alex Salmond :o)






























ALBA GU BRATH.
84

Richardinho,

06/01/2008 16:56:28
It would be nice if we could have a debate on the subject of independence where the unionists would actually put forward the benefits of the union.

However too many of them can only tell us how we Scots are too useless to do anything.

It's really rather insulting, and not inspiring at all.
85

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06/01/2008 17:05:44
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86

kimba,

06/01/2008 17:06:35
98/99. Think you both have a inferiority complex,you have to be a oxymoron not to know the benifits of staying in the union.
87

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 17:17:50
101
I'd rather be a tautologistic schizophrenic.
88

kimba,

06/01/2008 17:19:28
100. If you believe that England is about "TO BE FIRED" YOU ARE THE DUMBEST,THICKEST, MOST EASILY INFLUENCED PERSON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD,THE SCOTTISH THIRST FOR INDEPENDENCE WILL BE YOUR UNDOING.English population 50 million,Scottish 5 million LOL.
89

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 17:19:32
103
Hello Chairman,how are the cuddies?
90

kimba,

06/01/2008 17:21:09
104. You can be what you like, does England care!!
91

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 17:30:32
107
Probably not Kimba...So thats why there is a Scottish Nationalist Party?
92

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfropolis 06/01/2008 17:32:19
People how will the poor Englanders survive without our noblesse oblige, our largesse?

I feel there should be some form of parachute payment (as used in the footballing parlance) made available to them from our shortbread and Irn Bru revenues that will tide them over until they can once again stand proud as Englishmen.

(Salutes whilst upper lip wibbles)
93

kimba,

06/01/2008 17:35:51
109. But the SNP still rely on westminster,what would they do without the 23 billion from good old London.
94

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 17:36:25
110
Oscar,you are meant to keep it stiff man!
95

kimba,

06/01/2008 17:38:16
110,LOL, London alone makes Scotland look like a third world country.
96

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfries 06/01/2008 17:38:44
#112 Conan, I can't help it. The sheer plight of those fifty million Kimbas cast aside like Sunday morning johnnies. It's too much to contemplate.
97

kimba,

06/01/2008 17:40:25
115, you arrogant ba---rd.
98

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 17:42:04
111
You are so right Kimba.We'll just have to struggle along with the revenues raised in Scotland...
99

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 17:44:58
115 LMAO. What a wonderful turn of phrase Oscar.

119. C the L. Doomed. We are doomed. It can't be done.
100

kimba,

06/01/2008 17:46:36
119. Struggle being the operative word!
101

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 17:47:57
121. oxymoronic was the operative word. post operative. the operation being a lobotomy
102

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 17:48:04
114
London is going to drown.Apparently.
103

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 17:49:40
Evening Ayrshire.
Half an ear,watching Timeteam.
104

kimba,

06/01/2008 17:49:59
120. wonder if that tw-t oscar mcniny,would say that in England,probably not,another scot all mouth and no trousers!
105

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 17:51:22
124. What is with this facination with Time Team? Have you got your slippers on and the pipe fired up?

125. Kimba - do you prefer more trouser and less mouth?
106

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfropolis 06/01/2008 17:51:51
#117 Chuffing crikey, what have I said to warrant such language from the montimbanco Kimba?

Darling Johnny Mills, now there was a proper chap, pipe, tweed underwear and nothing of the spiv about him unlike that footpad Dickie Attenborough. Do you know he swapped his willie for a penkife whilst interred at Colditz during the last unpleasantness with Johnny Foreign?
107

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 17:53:55
124. Evening indeed. How goes it? Still no Spookie?

Did you read 26 - had a wee chuckle. Ironic a fakey complaining about fakeyness
108

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 17:54:43
How very rascist of you Kimba.
Scots wear kilts not trousers.
109

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 17:57:48
129. C the L. Do you think the north face of Mount Kimba was once scaled by an intrepid Scotsman, thus her animosity toward us?
110

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 18:00:10
128
Aye, caught it earlier.Enemy(to him)action?
And where is the wee ba'kicker?
111

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:00:27
122. Is Scotland sill in the union,YES.
Will Scotland get independence anytime soon,NO.
So stop pretending that Scotland is "all that"
112

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 18:01:31
132 Kimba, you're all that. You're da bomb.
113

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfropolis 06/01/2008 18:03:19
#125 Dearest Kimbard, please refrain from mentioning the following words 'Scot', 'Mouth' and 'Trousers' in the same sentence it makes me go all woooheee with lust for Engerlish maidenhead, particularly those of a Northern bent.

114

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 18:04:04
131
LOL
Surely not,she would be forever enslaved...Unless Hoops...?
115

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:07:32
Ayrshire,after my visit to aberfoyle I can truly say,some scots are total wan--rs, some are nats,but the majority are lovely,normal unionist folk who can't understand what Salmond is whinging about.
116

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 18:08:30
134
http://www.utterpants.co.uk/images/pregchavs.jpg

There ye go Oscar.Dig in.
117

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:10:23
134. would you know what "lust" is!
118

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfropolis 06/01/2008 18:14:06
#137

Phwoar thanks Conan, a quick one off the cuff and the world is once again Burberry.

Kimba you don't wear Kappa shell suits by any chance?
119

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfropolis 06/01/2008 18:15:54
#138

"134. would you know what "lust" is!"

Err is Geordie for Viagara?
120

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 18:16:21
Normal Unionist...
http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/52687528.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF19390335F8FA9CA92A6E2313BC3EFA75D5B26D5502F4A3FD04B
121

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:27:38
ayrshire. PLEASE! you really are a nieve individual,scotland lost it's independence along with england in 1707,i'm afraid we won't be getting it back anytime soon.
122

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 18:28:20
138 Does it come in a gram wrap?
123

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 18:29:04
142

U da Bomb.

What was that a reply to?

And did you get any hot Scottish action in Aberfoyle?
124

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:30:19
140.As i'm not Geordie,I wouldn't knoe.
125

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:34:34
144 As I said this guy from the forrestry commision bored the pants of us,"Hot scottish action" lol,we didnae even get a hot totty!
126

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:35:50
Is there such a thing as "Hot scottish action"
127

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 18:38:57
146 Bored the pants off you? So he got yer pants off then? Tents ahoy....Totty or toddy?

God, just eaten....
128

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 18:39:18
147 Oh yes indeed there is
129

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:43:49
sorry toddy,does it differ from "Hot english action"
130

,

06/01/2008 18:44:22
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131

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 18:48:12
150. erm, no I suppose not
132

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:48:25
151. Maybe because mr connery was arrested in the u.s.a for harrassing his neighbour.
133

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:49:34
Ayrshire. well what's the point then!
134

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfropolis 06/01/2008 18:51:03
Ahem, #151 Ciderman, nobody was talking about donations unless you mistook Kimbas desire for hot Scottish action the wrong way.
135

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 18:52:03
155 Oscar

in that case Pete/ Cider has had a few donations from Johnny Adair
136

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 18:52:18
154 the point of what?
137

kimba,

06/01/2008 18:55:25
157. Are you on one of your thick moments,of getting "HOT SCOTTISH ACTION" IF IT DOESNAE DIFFER FROM "HOT ENGLISH ACTION".
138

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 18:57:46
158 erm, the point of getting action? The difference - Just that English Nat people insist on trying to pay me for it as they believe me addicted to subsidy. most embarrassing
139

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 18:58:49
158
For an English person,you sometimes type in the Scots vernacular;-)
140

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 18:59:50
160 hehehehe indeed, She'll be quoting todays Glasgow Evening Times next
141

,

06/01/2008 19:00:02
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142

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:02:36
162 Johnny has filled your vacuum a few times hasn't he Pete?
143

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:03:20
159. how drone! maybe if it weren't true you wouldn't have the problem.
144

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:04:41
160.my dads from Dundee.
145

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:05:02
164 how drone? what that mean? that an oxymoronicism?
146

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfropolis 06/01/2008 19:09:24
Ah-ha is it peterfrompaisley, the object of Mad Dogs manly affections?

Here's a limerick he might like.

There once was a poster named Ciders
Who encircled his kock with some Quavers.
Though buggers all claimed
That their backsides were maimed,
Sixy-niners all cheered the cheesy new flavours.

147

Enigma,

06/01/2008 19:10:02
100

`The benefits of the Union are and always have to the English.` Care to elaborate on that? This one is scratching his head.
148

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:12:57
167 hehehe

it is indeed Paisley Pete, he whose trap door has been banged more often than Wendy has cashed a dodgy cheque by Mr Adair whilst he squealed "no surrender!"
149

,

06/01/2008 19:13:44
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150

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:16:12
166. sorry, should of said "ARROGANT".
151

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:16:14
170 How do you know what age I am Pete? Are you stalking me?

Is Mr Adair not a unionista? Of the Brit Nat variety like you? Me being a Scot Nat and against the continuation of the Britsih state an all, don't think we'd get on.... I am sure you would pull off a pair of union jack under-crackers far better than I could....

Has he dumped you for a younger young offender then?
152

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 19:16:16
168
The comment in its original form.My capitals.

"The benefits of the Union are and always have BEEN to the English"
153

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:16:35
171. What u on about now?
154

,

06/01/2008 19:18:15
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155

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:19:20
Ayrshire. Doesnae matter,you seem to be preoccupied.
156

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:20:21
175 Pete, Pete. Unsuitable in what way? I refer to vaccuum cleaners and a trap door? You must have a dirty mind, swamped as it is with thoughts of Johnny and Union flags.

Found the WMD yet? Is Wendy still in hiding? Do you think Harmen will go to prison as well? So many questions...
157

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfries 06/01/2008 19:22:40
Eeek it's heading for a lavender meltdown. I'm off for a glass of port and a pleasant evenings viewing of Acorn Antiques followed by some illicit downloaded Geordie porno.

The dialogue's brilliant.

"y'allreet pet? am ya gas man, way 'ave come to mend ya boiler canny lass!"
158

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:22:57
175 Mind that time you got banned for swearing at me Petey Pie. How I giggled. Goan, do it again??
159

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:23:30
178. What was it Muesli?
160

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:24:22
ayrshire, are you a middle aged, married gentleman,forgive me for asking.
161

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:25:43
181. LOL. No.
162

Enigma,

06/01/2008 19:25:44
173

Still none the wiser.
163

,

06/01/2008 19:26:38
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164

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:27:48
182. Thank god!
165

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:28:00
184 Cheers dude. I fear you mistake me for some one much interested in your estimation of my age, but thanks for taking the time to ponder and post it none the less. I would have put your IQ at around the same figures.
166

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:29:04
184. Estimate or fantasise, Pete?
167

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:30:28
184. Think he is in his mid to late 20's.
168

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:30:53
184. Pete, given you think I am a 14 year old pubescent boy, why do spend so much time writing to me? Are you trying to groom me?
169

,

06/01/2008 19:30:59
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170

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfropolis 06/01/2008 19:31:13
#182 Come now Mr. Ayrshire Scot often is the time I've enjoyed yours and Mrs Ayrshire Scots company as we've compared wartime scars, pocket fluff and our manly children. Don't deny your outright heterosexuality to cowtow to the pc brigade. Why you sir are straighter than little Tommy Cruise, the straightest man in Straightsville!


171

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:33:39
190. Close, but Ms Sturgeon is somewhat older than me Pete. Universities, differing from the young offenders rehabilitation unit in which you obtained your HNCs, allow study of 4-7 years. Thus la Sturgeon could be 1-8 years older than me.
172

OscarMacApfel,

Dumfropolis 06/01/2008 19:35:43
Paisley Pete's new pad....

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/253/516263397_2c9d66a82b_b.jpg
173

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:35:47
190. You just said I was 14. I find your posts are descending into their usual free-wheeling, deranged, splenetic lunacy. Are you saying I am 14 or of an age with Ms Sturgeon? And why this zealous interest in my age Pete. Were I not suspicious that your are a minger with a face that bears the imprint of Jackie Baillie's posterior I might have been flattered.
174

,

06/01/2008 19:36:48
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175

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:37:06
190. well that explains a lot.
176

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:39:24
195. Are you saying you want to stroke and muzzle me Petey Pie?
177

,

06/01/2008 19:39:57
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178

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:40:08
196 Kimba, what do you mean?

PS - Nicola and I are both from Ayrshire too...
179

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:42:41
198 Petey Pie

it was you who intrdocued my educational background and age to this discussion. I was quite happy discussing whatever inner panic stirs you to post your weird, senseless and tangential posts. Tell us all about the real Pete. What makes the real Pete tick? Does the real Pete wash his under wear? Is Pete lonely? What age is Pete?
180

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:44:41
AYRSHIRE. what I say,you and ms sturgeon were at college together,hence you must be of similar age.
181

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:45:32
201. (University Kimba, please) We are. But she is, I think, around 3 or 4 years older than me.
182

,

06/01/2008 19:45:50
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183

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:48:08
203. Now now Pete. You admitted previously to being Paisley Pete. And only you and you go on about "Ayrshire's shame" Johnny Adair. If you want a sensible discussion, lead on MacDuff. However as your first post on here was the usual ill informed, childish irrelevant guff we expect from you I have little hope. But on you go.
184

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:48:59
ayrshire. so you are 3to4 years younger than ms sturgeon.
185

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:49:21
203. You said I was 14, Would I not then naturally and literally be peurile?
186

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:50:05
205. Perhaps 5. She graduated the year I went to Uni.
187

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:50:15
Ayrshire. Are you "gay"
188

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:51:45
208 "gay"? What, do tell, is "gay"? Is it like gay, but with more punctuation?
189

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:52:39
Ayrshire. so you are about 32.
190

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:53:13
210. Ish.
191

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:53:29
209.Are you a homo.
192

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:54:02
212 sapiens? erectus?
193

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:54:32
210. guess that is a little older then.
194

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:55:45
214. a wee bit, not much lol
195

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 19:56:09
214 are you grooming me as well? Will you fight iot out with Petey?
196

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 19:56:49
208
Ayrshire is indeed alert and animate.
197

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:56:54
Ayrshire. what i was trying to say is are you a homosexual.
198

kimba,

06/01/2008 19:59:18
214.lol. you really fancy yourself.
199

kimba,

06/01/2008 20:01:56
By your silence,i'll take that as a yes
200

kimba,

06/01/2008 20:04:44
217. many thanks.
201

kimba,

06/01/2008 20:06:12
Ayrshire. why are you ashamed of your sexuality!
202

Derick fae Yell,

The Hoose 06/01/2008 20:06:48
147 kimba,06/01/2008 18:35:50
Is there such a thing as "Hot scottish action"

Yes. There is. You wouldn't be so angry if you had been able to get any. Incidentally I do: often.

chzzpzzzeeeefeedback Bullhorn "put your right hand in your pocket. And step away from the computer"
203

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 20:07:09
220. Kimba. Good grief. I was away from the keyboard for a minute and this is how you respond?
204

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 20:08:12
222 Are you trying to groom me?
205

kimba,

06/01/2008 20:09:08
224. how coincidental,so your a strait as a rule then!
206

kimba,

06/01/2008 20:09:55
Ayrshire,groom you for what!
207

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 20:10:04
226 Is that like "straight"?
208

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 20:10:36
227 Hot Scottsih action. Throwing a bit of haggis to your dog. Throwing my sausage roll up your close.
209

Conan the Librarian™,

06/01/2008 20:13:05
226
I've a foot.Don't use it as a rule.
Or the other one.
Boomtish.
210

kimba,

06/01/2008 20:13:56
229. Hot sausage roll,must be my lucky day,usually get cold ones.
211

kimba,

06/01/2008 20:14:39
230,lol.
212

kimba,

06/01/2008 20:22:47
well,a good long soak in a hot bath awaits,see ya!
213

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 21:09:05
230 psssst pssssst

is she gone?
214

,

06/01/2008 21:09:35
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215

,

06/01/2008 21:10:46
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216

barbour,

Northumberland 06/01/2008 21:10:58
45.
If you can either find or indeed read a map of the UK you may find that the person to whom you are obviously refering did not represent a seat in Northumberland and if I remember right was in fact a Jock,albeit of the "plastic variety"I think you are underlining my point admirably.
217

 Ayrshire Scot™,

06/01/2008 21:15:15
236 She was trying to groom me. But not really since you ask
218

Eve,

Scotland 06/01/2008 22:12:39
tsar (don't have a foggy how it's pronounced) is an odd word does wee Doggie have to complicate thing again.


I looked it up in the dictionary http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/tsar

It has about 3 different meanings :

1)"A male monarch or emperor,"

2) "A person having great power; an autocrat"

3) "Informal An appointed official having special powers to regulate or supervise an activity".

Which wan is wee Doggie meaning, could be anyone, more likely to meaning number 3 BUT way crouped unionists ye never know!!!
219

,

06/01/2008 23:13:31
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220

,

06/01/2008 23:16:10
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221

Ayrshire Scot™ ,

06/01/2008 23:21:22
Hey Ayrshire Scot, the real one, do you miss Methalions as well?
222

,

06/01/2008 23:28:51
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223

James,

Dundee 06/01/2008 23:59:30
What is the UK for?
224

Brian Hill,

Edinburgh 07/01/2008 03:42:49
Once again Salmond has backed Labour into a lose lose situation. If they back it they make the SNP look stronger and take yet another significant step towards a completely Independent Holyrood.

If they oppose it they are seen to be supporting London against Holyrood. I see this game being played out many times over the lifetime of this parliament. It's a sure fire winner for the SNP.
225

Katty,

Bannockburn 07/01/2008 09:47:59


Whats the problem? Is Labour worried that the Scottish Parliament just might make them look bad Hee Hee.

Remember Wendy. Has she got away?

 

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