AS revolutions go, it's been a quiet, steady, secret affair until now. But the cat's out of the bag with a Which? consumer survey showing that Lidl is growing more quickly in popularity than even Tesco, Sainsbury's and Asda. For those customers who can let go of their misguided British food snobbery, it's money in the bank.
The first time I gave it a go I was hooked, largely because I discovered £30 could go as far as £60 in a "conventional" supermarket, but also because of the constant surprises . . . horse blankets and jodhpurs running off the shelves in Craigmillar .
. . ski wear in Gorgie in September . . . fishing waders, carpets, electric drills and TVs popping up when you least expect them.
At Christmas they surpassed themselves giving away recipes for lobster thermidor and selling said lobster for under £5! Who says the Niddrie palate isn't sophisticated?
Lest you think this is an unashamed plug for Lidl, what I am really celebrating is any comparative newcomer who manages to loosen the stranglehold of the big boys who, despite promising thousands of discounted items and own brands, never seem to achieve any real reduction on the overall weekly shopping bill.
Most supermarket shoppers are gullible. They might ooh and aah over mud-covered carrots at the Farmers Market but still look for pristine, bright orange, unblemished perfection in their supermarket produce. They want lettuces to be a radioactive shade of green, a uniform shape, to be encased in plastic and back-lit to look even more colourful. They want "fresh" vacuum-packed meat to look bright red and devoid of fat. Perhaps we can't blame the big boys for giving the customers what they want but the result is often that our food is unnaturally forced, laced in preservatives, rushed from the slaughterhouse to the shelf rather than hung well, and usually pretty tasteless.
Once, we thought we were simply buying food, but no. When we enter a major supermarket chain we are buying into an "experience". A million subtle tactics are employed to make sure we linger, feel relaxed, browse and feel like a valued customer. At the check-out, if we are too posh to pack, a minion will do it for us and we don't pay until everything is neatly bagged.
Compare and contrast that with a discount chain like Lidl where the veg is stacked in boxes and there is a handful of check-out operators working at lightning speed scanning your goods and hurling them into your trolley. You can either buy bags at extra cost or bring your own (Marks & Spencer's bags if you want to fool the neighbours), pay up and then retire to do your own packing rather than hold up the queue. It's very democratic.
The mistake is to believe that you pay more in "mainstream" supermarkets because the quality of food is better, when actually you are paying for elaborate display and decor, extra staff, and check-out assistance. Chances are you are also paying over the odds for expensive British brand leaders which many other Europeans regard as a marketing rip-off.
As more and more people tumble to the facts of supermarket life, Lidl car parks along with those of European competitors like Aldi, are filling up with 4X4s and Mercs as the better-off make a beeline for the less salubriously located, no-frills stores.
Nothing is perfect. If you want thick, juicy steaks, fresh fish or mature, running brie, you won't find them in a supermarket, any supermarket in my opinion.
But you'll have more money to spend in the local butchers, fishmongers and delis, the smaller, neighbourhood shops that are so under threat in the Capital. And that should appeal to everyone, even in a city as posh as ours.
She
ain't nothing like a Dame
Em
broiled in a court case Down Under over her withdrawal from a concert (because fans of the Aussie pop star John Farnham, with whom she was appearing, insisted on throwing their knickers on stage), she bridled at being addressed as "Kiri". Well, that's the Australians for you, informal and without ceremony. As only a diva could, she told the court it was "inappropriate" to address her thus and she should be referred to as "Dame Kiri".
Ouch! Someone should tell her those with class who have a title never, ever insist on using it.
They could also mention that she should stick to opera-goers who will shower her with bouquets rather than seeking to popularise herself with a wider audience who expect a little more in the sense of humour department.
All
fired up over losing out on fun
ON
E of the highlights of the Young Master's school years was the summer school fete when the PTA managed to lure the fire brigade along. The kids had a great time clambering over the engine and it gave the officers a chance to explain the dangers of fire.
Alas this seems to be going out of fashion as more and more brigades become fearful of lifting children in and out of engines lest they are accused of inappropriate behaviour.
What arrant nonsense! And how disappointing for the mums. As I recall the only ones who may have been victims of inappropriate behaviour, including outrageous flirting and lustful stares, were the firemen - something about the uniform and the macho image. Is all the joy to be taken out of life?
