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Pass the Prozac, singletons: Tonight's the most miserable time of the year

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Published Date: 22 December 2007
By JOHN INNES
NEVER mind the season to be merry, tonight is the most depressing evening of the year if you're single.
Researchers have found that the Saturday immediately before Christmas is the most miserable day for up to one in five of the nation's 25 million singletons due to the darkness of the winter solstice and loneliness at the height of the party season
.

A survey of over 4,000 single adults found 18 per cent will feel more depressed tonight than at any other time of the year, despite all the joy and goodwill around them.

The research, conducted on behalf of website DatingDirect.com also found that, while there may be plenty of flirting at office parties, 83 per cent of single men and women say they find it hard to get a date over Christmas itself.

More than half the UK adult population (52 per cent) is single, rising to 60 per cent in Wales but down to 48 per cent in the south-east of England, according to government statistics.

Alistair Shrimpton, the director of DatingDirect.com, said: "Christmas is a romantic time of the year so it's no surprise that Saturday, 22 December is the worst day of the year to be single.

"But with a date, singletons can change the longest night of the year from being the most depressing to one to remember." Another report released yesterday by lawyers also added to the misery trend by claiming Christmas marks the start of the annual "divorce season" in the courts.

Just as Dirty Den famously handed divorce papers to Angie in the Queen Vic in a memorable EastEnders episode, so the scene is being repeated for real around Britain.

According to Ayesha Vardag, a matrimonial lawyer, the next few weeks are the busiest of the year for divorce courts. The stresses and strains of Christmas do not help as couples spend longer with each other than they have done for most of the year.

A further aggravation is often that they have to put up with each other's relatives.

The close contact, the extra work round the house, the free-flowing alcohol and family politics make many relationships "split at the seams" said the law firm.

Ms Vardag said: "There is also a sense of 'New Year, fresh start', driving unhappy couples into making the leap, sometimes with little knowledge of the consequences.

"Where divorce proceedings begin amicably, they can turn acrimonious when the main breadwinner realises how much they may have to hand to their former partner.

"They suddenly need to fund two households rather than one and are often horrified by the costs involved."

Couples should always make an effort to reach an agreement themselves before they contact lawyers, according to Ms Vardag.



Page 1 of 1

  • Last Updated: 21 December 2007 10:17 PM
  • Source: The Scotsman
  • Location: Edinburgh
 
1

Charles Linskaill,

Edinburgh 22/12/2007 01:32:38
Yes Agree, when my ex and I separated, Christmas was only for sending out cards, because you felt it was the right thing to do, apart from the Children, who always have a,

'Special-place-in-your-Heart'...at this time of year, more-so!
.
I recon I was quite lucky, because my older Daughter stayed with me, to finish of her education, but I really missed my younger Daughter.

Phones are OK, but, cant replace living with someone you miss, love and wish they were with you!

My First Christmas after my separation, was miserable,, it was just 'A non Day' absolutely empty!

I didn't even eat that day! my Daughter that was living with me at the time, was away for Christmas, which made it worse.

The feeling of 'Isolation' on Christmas Day was strange, I could not believe, the 'emptiest' I felt, I never experienced that in my life before.

Not a phone-call, and no-one to speak to!

So there you have it, my experience of the,
" the most miserable time of the year"

I was NOT suicidal and did not need the "Prozac"

But I wanted to share my story with you all,, so that you will give, thought,,understanding and a litte Love to anyone you know that's alone at Christmas!

Even us 'Guys' Feel it!,, why do you think it is still vivid for me?.. and that's after 15years!!!

Thankyou for taking time to read my story, I hope it will make you think of anyone alone this year, that you may think 'they-are-alright', but in reality they are NOT!
A 'Phone-Call',,'text', or better still, even a
'Quick-Visit', will make, 'such a differennce'!
To those alone at this time of year.
2

Scullion,

Canada 22/12/2007 03:35:24
I do tend to think that it is the New Year's approach that pushes the desire for the ending of bad things.
However, as Ben Franklin said (I think), "Like fish, relatives begin to stink after 3 days." Say hello, have a drink then head for the hills.
3

Montague Q X Burton,

22/12/2007 07:35:09
It's the forced jollity that makes me want to go postal.
4

fife runner,

22/12/2007 07:41:42
Hi Charles I can concur.

My thoughts on the matter are we are sold the lie we must enjoy ourselves and if we are not the we are missing out somehow. Also as adults we the think back to our younger years when we went out and about with our mates and had a good time and the rest of our lives must be a let down somehow.
5

Helen,

22/12/2007 08:40:25
It's pretty awful being single anyway, but at this time of year society just seems to get a sadisitic kick out of rubbing salt into my wounds. Being single isn't a choice, it's something I've been landed with and I'd rather people didn't laugh in my face because of it. I'm doing a 13 hour shift at work on Christmas Day because it's better than sitting at home alone.
6

Paul Voltaire,

22/12/2007 09:17:09
I remember hearing Frank Sinatra singing-:
"Saturday night is the loneliest night of the week ...."
Strange.
Frank never struck me as the stay-at-home of a weekend type of guy.
7

Boy Wonder,

22/12/2007 09:34:35
#5. Helen, that's just you! Wake up and smell the coffee.

I know lots of single people and they like it like that! Some of them just won't commit, while others feel if they do, they should be committed!

I don't know anyone who is single who feels lonely at Christmas. They prefer it that way!


8

Helen,

22/12/2007 11:53:58
Boy Wonder, I work with homeless people and I can assure you that lots of them feel very lonely at this time of year. All the Christmas songs talk about families and firesides...if you haven't got a family and you haven't got a home of your own then it's a tought time. It's tough for single people at the best of times because society is geared towards couples and families, and people do get lonely at Christmas. They get lonely all year round but when the families and couples stuff is "in your face" it just feels harder.
9

Boy Wonder,

22/12/2007 12:57:01
Helen #8. I didn'#t say EVERY single person and I certainly didn't imply that either. I said "single people I know" and "I don't know anyone who is single and lonely"!

Where did you go wrong in reading my post?

On the other hand ... you wrote "It's pretty awful being single anyway ..." which is quite a sweeping generalisation. In fact your whole post reads like "Woe is me ..."!

Sorry if things are like that for you ... but not everyone thinks like you either.


10

Jay Kay,

Burntisland 22/12/2007 13:45:48
Oh my god this is a revalation to me, im forty years old and I never knew this was the season where FETA get more floaters than at any other time of the year, someone should really call the HSE and let them know, the jobs worths will be out in force giving people plastic glasses to drink out of and making sure no one goes home alone. Erect more pedestrian guardrail along the Forth Road Bridge and stop people from climbing the towers!!!!!!
11

corporates,

Morecambe 22/12/2007 14:33:50
#8 Helen, i agree with you.

I'm single and don't get to see my 3 sons due to an acrimonious divorce, so it makes things so hard when all the family stuff is in your face so much.

Even though my immediate family (brothers) are really supportive it is still hard being the singleton and watching their kids just brings back the dark thoughts, thankfully after 7 years of being single i have put the prozac away a few years ago.
12

Charles Linskaill,

Edinburgh 22/12/2007 19:19:40
12 Methalions, thankyou for your good wishes and I recipicate the same.
It was about 4years living alone for me, eventually after I got over this depressive time, I decided, I just 'had to get out', because NO 'fairy Godmother' was going to come to my door ever!
About two years later I met my DYW, who was having problems and had nowhere to stay, It was 'sheer chance' that I met her!, or maybe 'Gods Will'
I dunno!
But Im married to her now and we have been together 10years now.
Its 'Ironic' though!!!... now I try to find a bit time to 'be-alone', as she is quite a bit younger than I, her 'demands' keep me going 24/7
But I 'Love her to Bits' .. Awwwwwwwwwww :-****
13

Paula,

22/12/2007 22:26:42
There is something to be said about not spending another Christmas trying to please an over-critical partner and then feeling awful when all that hard-work goes for nothing.

So singletons unite, you can do what you want without anyone trying to make you feel worthless.
14

Charles Linskaill,

Edinburgh 22/12/2007 23:38:50
15 Paula, I get the impression you are not or were not, 'appreciated'
If this is the case, this is not any fault of yours and drags down your, 'self esteem'
I am sure you are a lovely person at heart and from us,
We 'APPRECIATE', your postings, you have a valuable input to say on many topics.
We all love you! so go give yourself a 'Pamper', hot soak in bath, oils etc,
And Have yourself a 'Lovely Christmas'!
All our love, Paula!
Frm Suzs&Chas, xx

 

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