MANY celebrities have met a sticky end. But they don't come much stickier than the passing of Elvis Presley, discovered drug-addled and unconscious in his Gracelands lavatory not longer after eating a snack so fat-soaked it could have blocked the drains in a detergent factory.
The King was officially pronounced dead at 3.30pm at the Baptist Memorial Hospital in Tennessee, weighing 19 stone. Aged 42, his life had been shorter than a Shettlestone junkie. His post-mortem confirmed he had suffered a sudden and violent heart attack and, at some point, had crawled several feet across his bathroom floor. Undoubtedly the volatile mix of counteractive drugs he was taking didn't help his gastro-intestinal stability (a cocktail that was more "nappy hour" than "happy hour"), but the long-term cause of Presley's death was quite likely the gooey, glutinous white-bread peanut butter and banana sandwiches he consumed with heart-weakening frequency throughout his final years.
The Elvis P-B-and-B contains, at a conservative estimate, 650 calories - equivalent to one-and-a-half Big Macs or more than two Starbucks Mocha Frappacinos. Fatter than the tyres on a modified Cadillac, it could sustain the average adult male for most of a day (and probably a size zero model until 2016).
With recklessness that would turn heads even in a Scottish chip shop, the whole ventricle-clogging snack was often embellished with bacon before being fried in butter.
Surely no-one would consider putting this monster past their lips? Prepare to be stunned. The Rose Street branch of O'Briens sandwich bar in Edinburgh has had punters queueing round the block since introducing its own version of Elvis's favourite food to its lunchtime menu, in a mark of slack-jawed respect.
It has wisely chosen not to go down the fried-with-bacon route, possibly to avoid its sickened customers picking up the phone to Claims Direct. But the O'Briens Elvis Sandwich is still an unbeatable digestive tsunami of sweetness and salt. The first bite gives the sensation of sinking one's teeth into a tube of No More Nails. The second prompts a stomach reflex which suggests the mighty sandwich is about to be Returned To Sender. It would require a sink-plunger to unblock the aorta of anyone who consumed more than a dozen of these.
So who would dare eat this horror for lunch, even in the nutrient wasteland of central Scotland? I took to the streets of Edinburgh in an Elvis costume (in truth, a polyester jumpsuit reminiscent of Wincey Willis after a good Christmas) to find out.
Recipes fit for a king
FRIED PEANUT BUTTER AND BANANA SANDWICH Serves 1
INGREDIENTS 2 slices white bread
2 to 3 tablespoons smooth peanut butter
1/2 large well-ripened banana, mashed
1 to 2 tablespoons margarine
Method
An Elvis favourite at home. In a skillet over medium heat melt the margarine. When the margarine is hot, fry the sandwich, browning both sides.
KING CREOLE LOBSTER BISQUE Serves 4
Ingredients 3 tablespoons butter or margarine
1/4 cup (40g) chopped onion
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon fresh parsley
Dash of salt and pepper
2 cups (470ml) milk
1 cup (235ml) chicken broth
11/4 cups (280g) fresh or frozen lobster
Method
In a large pot melt the butter and sauté the onion over low heat until tender. Stir in the flour, parsley, and salt and pepper. Cook until bubbly. Stir in the milk and chicken broth. Bring to a boil, but stir constantly. Stir in the lobster. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat and cook for three minutes.
ELVIS'S FAVOURITE HOME MADE VEGETABLE SOUP Serves 10
Ingredients 2 pounds (900g) stew meat
1 small onion
1 small green bell pepper
1 small clove garlic
3 15-ounce cans (about 1.3 litres total) mixed vegetables
5 medium potatoes, cut up
1 15-ounce (440ml) can okra
Salt and pepper to taste
3 tablespoons sugar
Method
In a large pot cook the stew meat, onion, bell pepper and garlic until the meat is almost brown. Add the mixed vegetables, potatoes, okra, and salt and pepper. Cook until the juice becomes thick. Add the sugar. Simmer for about two hours and 30 minutes.
BURNING LOVE BARBECUE SAUCE Makes about 6 quarts (5.6l)
Ingredients 1 31/2 -quart (3.3l) bottle ketchup
1/2 gallon (1.9l) white vinegar
2 cups water (470ml)
1/2 cup (110g) sugar
2 tablespoons black pepper
1/2 tablespoon cayenne pepper
2 1/2 tablespoons barbecue spice
Juice of 1 lemon
Method
In a large stock pot mix all of the ingredients and bring to a boil over high heat. Stir well. Reduce the heat and simmer for one hour and 30 minutes, stirring often. Let the sauce cool. Pour the sauce into sterilised jars and tighten the lids. Store in the refrigerator. It will keep for several weeks.
MOODY BLUE MEAT LOAF Serves 6
Ingredients 1 pound (900g) hamburger
[mince] meat
1/2 (50g) cup regular oats
11/2 teaspoons salt
1 egg
2/3 cup (150g) tomato juice or canned tomatoes
1 medium onion, chopped
Method
Preheat the oven to 350F (180C). In a large bowl mix all of the ingredients together.
Place the meat in a loaf pan and cook for 45 minutes or until cooked to the desired doneness.
SNAKE BITE CHILLI Serves 4-6
Ingredients 2 tablespoons butter
2 pounds (900g) deer meat
1 can rattlesnake meat
10 jalapeño peppers
4 cups (300g) pinto beans, drained
4 large tomatoes, skinned and halved
2 tablespoons chilli powder
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
2 cups water (480ml)
Method
Brown the meat in the butter. Put all the other ingredients in the pot. Simmer for 2-4 hours, stirring every 1/2 hour.
SWEET CAROLINE SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE Serves 6
Ingredients 3 cups (600g) cooked sweet potatoes
2 large eggs, slightly beaten
1 cup (225g)sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup (75g) frozen coconut
1/2 cup (225g) butter
Topping:
1 cup (125g) chopped walnuts
1/2 cup (225g) butter
1 cup (200g) firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 cup (50g) self-raising flour
Method
Preheat the oven to 350F (180C). In a large bowl mix together the potatoes, eggs, sugar, vanilla, coconut and butter. Pour into a large casserole dish and bake for 20 minutes. While baking, for the topping, combine in a large bowl the walnuts, brown sugar and flour. Remove the casserole from the oven when done and drizzle the topping mixture over it. Return the casserole to the oven and bake until the topping is brown. Be careful not to over-bake, because the topping will be tough.
TASTING A GREAT PIECE OF HISTORY
Student MATTHIAS DIETERLE gobbled the first quarter of his Elvis sandwich with alarming enthusiasm. "It has lots of flavour and I like the peanut butter," said the 24-year-old, visiting Scotland from Stuttgart. "It is very hard to swallow, though."
SEBASTIAN FISCHER, 23, also from Stuttgart, was more cautious. "It tastes good, but you could not eat more than one of these or you would be very, very sick. I cannot understand how Elvis could eat these every day."
"Not bad at all," said ANGIE BRYCE, 31, a legal secretary from Edinburgh who says her mother, Eleanor, has visited Graceland and is married to an Elvis impersonator. "Obviously it is a little heavy, but it tastes good." The verdict of a true expert.
SEAN BURNS, 21, a student from Dundee, was pleasantly surprised by the Elvis-killer. "I would usually have something more conventional, like ham," he said, licking the dense, gooey mixture from his teeth. "It is quite sweet. Very tasty."
• Recipes have been adapted from The Presley Family and Friends Cookbook, by Donna Presley Early, Edie Hand, Darcy Bonfils, Ken Beck, and Jim Clark, priced £11.95, by Cumberland House Publishing US, ISBN 188895275X
ELVIS MYTHS AND LEGENDS
ELVIS BROUGHT DOWN THE MOB ANOTHER conspiracy theory about Elvis's death was that he was a secret government agent investigating the Mafia and had to go underground to protect his family.
According to one website,
www.elvis-is-alive.com he played an integral part in a sting operated against the Mafia. Elvis's father, Vernon, had arranged for Mafia man Alfredo Poc, president of Trident Consortium in New York, to lease Elvis's jet. However, when no money arrived for the use of the plane, the Presleys approached the FBI. Two government agents subsequently joined the Presley entourage to learn more about the mobsters' activities.
By July 1977, the FBI felt it had enough evidence to arrest and convict the worldwide Mafia ring that defrauded the Presleys and many other organisations. Arrest warrants were issued on 16 August 1977 - the day Elvis died. When the case came to trial two months later, a secret witness testified. He told of things that only Elvis himself would know. The name of that witness has never been released publicly.
HE HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD HAS Elvis reached out from beyond the grave to appear in visions? His face has miraculously "appeared" to people on more than 6,300 potatoes, 243 floor tiles, 64 tree trunks, 52 facial moles and two human warts since 1977.
THE KING DIED ON HIS THRONETHE rumours that Elvis died while sitting on the toilet holding one of his favourite sandwiches (or, as some believe, a burger) is now a rock legend. In reality, his girlfriend of the time, Ginger Alden, found him out cold with his pyjamas round his ankles, lying in a pool of his own vomit on the bathroom floor at around 1:30pm on Wednesday 16 August 1977.
