Last year’s most eligible man had to bow out because he’s all loved up now. He has just filmed Master and Commander with Russell Crowe, and appears in the final instalment of The Lord of the Rings trilogy next month
WHAT KIND OF LOVE ARE YOU ON? A really nice, deep love - but I’m not telling you any more than that.
WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON? This year I’ve been on the side of the English during the Napoleonic War, because that’s what I was
doing in Master and Commander. I’ve been on the side of the Fellowship, fighting the Dark Lord. And I’ve been on my own team, playing Paul Riley at squash.
DON’T you WONDER SOMETIMES ABOUT SOUND AND VISION? I wonder if a 45-inch plasma screen is a better choice than a tube television. And I wonder why CDs have replaced records, since when you put your thumb on them, they stop working. Why is that such great technology? There’s obviously a conspiracy out there.
YOU REALLY LIKE GORILLAS? Not as much as meerkats. I love their teamwork, and the way one always keeps watch while the others can go and have a laugh. I watched David Attenborough with them on television recently. He was explaining how they’re not natural climbers, but they do it to keep watch for anything dangerous. Then the camera panned back and there was a meerkat standing on David’s shoulder looking around for any sign of life, without noticing it had just climbed up a massive great man who was talking in its ear. I was on the floor rolling about with laughter.
WHO COMPOSED THE TUNE? I did! I wrote a song for The Lord of the Rings soundtrack. It’s called ‘The White Tree: The Steward of Gandor’. The words aren’t mine - they’re from a Tolkien poem. I used to write songs when I was in a band, but for the last few years I’ve just been acting. I need some sort of focus to write music, so was really pleased when Pete Jackson asked me to write and sing this. I wanted it to sound hobbity but ancient too, the sort of song that Pippin wouldn’t usually sing, but his grandfather might.
HOW DO YOU SLEEP? I’ve never had a sleepless night in my life and will easily sleep 12 hours. If I’m working on a film I’ll nap down in the day, too. I normally sleep on my stomach with my arms tucked in, but move around at night and make a lot of noise. Not snoring, talking.
HAVE WE GOT AN ARMY? Yes, which I think is a shame. War isn’t a thing the world wants to deal with any more. There’s a big difference between fantasy wars, like those in The Lord of the Rings, and reality. It’s fine to tell stories that have morals from times gone by but I don’t think we should tell our kids about modern life - how we went out and tried to destroy a country because we’re running out of oil.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A WHALE WITH A POLKA-DOT TAIL? I saw a lot of whales when I was in Mexico filming Master and Commander, including a humpback and a finback - but no polka dots. You might see one in Finding Nemo but they were very accurate about all the sea creatures. That was great. I’d love to do the voiceover for something similar. Maybe Shrek’s brother?
